Author: Amy Boucher Pye

I am pained by the division that happens sometimes between Christians who embrace different streams of faith and practice, so when I heard Sheila Holwell’s story of the freedom that forgiveness brings from this kind of fracture, I was eager to share it with you. Might there be someone who has hurt you in this way whom you could forgive?

A meditation in Our Daily Journey, written by Amy Boucher Pye on the subject of forgiveness, got me thinking. At the conclusion we were led into considering whether there were any experiences in our lives where there was a need to forgive.

While I have been very conscious of the need for forgiveness over the years, and have known the wonderful freedom it brings, as I read there suddenly flooded into my mind the memory of an incident about thirty years ago in the church. I knew immediately that I had not really forgiven.

A new Curate came when I was involved with the Pathfinder Group of young teens. The mother of one of our members came to see us, concerned that, while she encouraged her children to be faithful to their commitments, she felt this was being challenged as the Curate had told her daughter to be trained as a Server, which meant leaving Pathfinders. This was done without our being told of that decision.

There were other incidents that were done without communication so I went to the Curate and asked him to “lay his cards on the table” and tell me what was going on. He looked me straight in the eye and said, “You are not a mainline Anglican and you don’t fit. I was so shocked that I did not respond, so I went to the Vicar and told him what had been said and his response was “Well, it is true.” Having made a point of being committed to the church over the years in every way possible, including moulding into the different churchmanship, I found their statements very hurtful.

As the realisation came to me that I had not forgiven the Curate, I laid the whole situation at the foot of the Cross. I knew that Jesus had been there with me at the time, and so I was able to forgive and pray for this person, leaving it all with the Risen Christ. Subsequent circumstances caused me to thank God that it was a stage on my pilgrimage that was contributory to where I am today.

Finally, to bring the seal of God’s redeeming love on it all I placed the whole situation, via a little written note, on the Altar at the Eucharist. Praise the Lord! I am free!

Sheila Holwell was born in North London, where she had a grandmother who taught her to love the Bible and to enjoy Moody and Sankey hymns. As a teenager she felt the call to serve the Lord where he wanted her. Later came the very unexpected pathway to being an R.A.F. wife to a widower, and stepmother to a nine-year-old boy, with whom sixty years on she has a wonderful relationship.

She worked for the NHS with her husband became Readers in the Oxford Diocese, serving together until they moved to Devon. Sadly her husband died of cancer and also had dementia. It was then, however, that she experienced the miraculous ways God leads in devastating circumstances.

The doorway into Anglo-Catholicism opened and she is very happy with a wonderful vicar, who has a great sense of humour. Their evangelical versus liberal theology is dealt with in love. She finds sharing Jesus in prayer, preaching, and pastoral care such a privilege.

Amy’s book The Living Cross explores forgiveness through a series of daily Bible readings for Lent. You can find out more about it, and how to purchase, here.