Amy Boucher Pye

Author: Amy Boucher Pye

We Are Family by James Prescott

With such horrible things going on in the States this week—with Philando Castile being shot just 10 miles from where I grew up—I wondered about posting the next installment of my “There’s No Place Like Home” series. But James Prescott puts it so well, about how home should be a place where we feel love and accepted, and where we extend that love and acceptance to others. As we make our homes places of love, may we also extend that same love in the public square as we search for justice for the atrocities we see committed.

Coming home. As I sat down to reflect on what ‘home’ means to me in writing this blog, I have to admit, I was staggered at my lack of any instinctive reaction. And then it came to me. Family.

Home is probably more than physical, but also more than spiritual, more than emotional or intellectual. It’s wherever you feel you belong. It’s where you can be you, without fear, without judgement or condemnation. It’s more than a place, it’s a space. A space where you can be you, and that’s enough.

Much like what healthy family should always be. And I’m fortunate to have experienced this in my life in so many beautiful ways.

First of all, with my family of birth. Whenever I am with my sister, her partner and my Dad, I don’t feel afraid. I feel loved and above all completely understood. They’ve known me longer and better than anyone else in my life. I know, I’m very lucky in this respect. Not everyone’s families of birth are so close, so connected, and so non-judgemental.

I say, families of birth, because, in truth, wherever our home is, whoever our home is, that’s our family. In my church we often describe ourselves as a ‘church family’, because that’s what we are, it’s how we act. As family.

How often do you see big communities – church communities, online communities, even audiences at big events, all come together as one, helping each other, joking with each other, loving each other. When we find a major thing in common, a common love, a common purpose, and we begin to feel safe, even fearless… we are with family.

We are home.

Indeed, my second ‘family’ space, is with my church family – in particular my home group. We are small, but we know each other so well, we feel safe to be completely vulnerable, we care for each other. And we hang out beyond our ‘official’ spaces, going to the cinema, having film nights at each others homes, going out for drinks.

We’re family. And whenever I’m with family, I’m home.

A recent church picnic – we are home.

My third space will surprise you, given all I’ve said. It’s when I’m at home, on my own, in my flat. Part of this, naturally, is because I’m an introvert – and we introverts often prefer being on our own, in our own space. We need it to gain energy, and it’s a safe space to disconnect.

I also believe it’s home because I’m never really alone at home. Because somewhere in my soul, I know it’s a place I can be vulnerable, honest, and raw in a way I can’t anywhere else, because it’s just me… and God. And maybe, just maybe, because this flat is part of my late Mother’s legacy to me – and every so often, I remember her when I’m here.

Family. Heavenly and earthly. Even physically by myself.

I believe home is relational, more than anything. Even physical places we call home, usually, like my flat, feel that way because of a relational connection in some way.

Think about all the places, people, spaces you call home. And try to see it in a relational way. Open your eyes to see, this is you family. This is your place. This is where you can be you. And then, let’s try to create that space for others. Make our little place of the world a place where others can call home.

Imagine if all of us did this … what an amazing world that would be. That, for me is, God’s dream for us. That’s heaven, right here, right now.

James Prescott is a writer, editor, blogger & author from Sutton, near London. He is author of two e-books, Dance Of The Writer and Unlocking Creativity and hosts a weekly podcast ‘James Talks’. His first print book Mosaic Of Grace: Gods’ Beautiful Reshaping Of Our Broken Lives releases later this year. Find his work at jamesprescott.co.uk & follow him on Facebook or on Twitter at @JamesPrescott77.

July 8, 2016
Finding Herself in Britain – A New Adventure at 70

I love hearing from readers of Finding Myself in Britain; it’s a privilege and a joy to hear the stories they share. Such as Karen Morton, who got in touch with me recently. She embraced a new adventure at 70, marrying an Englishman and moving to the Lake District! I loved hearing of her art project to engage with people in her village – just brilliant how she has used her creativity and artistic gifts to give back to the community, and make new friends. She opened her email to me saying, “I feel like I have a new friend!” I feel the same, as I introduce her to you. Don’t miss her amazing portraits, toward the bottom of the interview.

This is me with my husband, fellow artist, Lou Morton.

I came to live in England three years ago – a new love and a new life – at the age of 70! It’s never too late to start over! I met my husband, a fellow artist, when I was here on a painting trip in 2011. I would never have imagined that I would have a whole new country just a few years later.

I had the experience of saying good-bye to my house and property in the Colorado mountains and walking away from most of my “stuff”, chanting all the while, “It’s just stuff… it’s just stuff… it’s just stuff.” I already lived a distance from my two daughters and grandchildren so things are not that different. They love visiting me here. Now I feel like a four-year-old with my nose pressed against the window, delighting in every new thing I see.

Playing my dulcimer at the local pub with other local musicians:

I’ve had so many surprises here, such as it stays green! Having grown up in Michigan and spent the last 30 years in the mountains of Colorado where there was snow on the ground 9 months of the year, I was delighted to find that it rarely snows here. Furthermore, the grass stays green even in winter, making the rolling hills of the Lake District where I live now very beautiful all year, even with grey skies. I’ve even learned to love the many colors of grey that contrast so nicely with the green. I’m also surprised at how long it stays light in the summertime, and how dark the winter is – never having realized how far north these islands are.

Another surprise was how warmly I’m received as an American. As soon as I open my mouth it’s obvious, of course! For the first time in my life, I have an accent! But whether it’s someone I meet in a shop or people I meet in the village, their eyes seem to light up when they learn my nationality.

I play the hammered dulcimer and was surprised to discover many opportunities to play it, joining in with local musicians. I’m learning lots of new songs – the English, Scottish and Irish folk songs sound particularly good on this instrument.

Maybe it’s my age, but learning to drive on the left (as opposed to “wrong”) side of the road has been a challenge to me. I was dismayed to learn that I had to take both a written and a practical driving test to get a British driver’s license. (My American license was good for only one year after becoming a resident.) I took some lessons from a very brave driving instructor in the village. At first I had a hard time figuring out where the left side of the car was and kept running up on the curb or cutting corners! Learning to shift with my left hand was a challenge too. The roads are so narrow and instead of a nice shoulder, you have stone walls or hedges inches away from your left-hand mirror. But I’m quite at home behind the wheel now.

Being interested in linguistics, I have kept an on-going lexicon of words and phrases that are different – 17 pages long so far. When I first arrived I told my husband I was going on a walk to explore the village. He said, “Fine, but make sure you stay on the pavement.” Why, I wondered, not knowing that is what they call sidewalks. I thought he wanted me to walk down the middle of the streets!

People kept asking me if I was alright. Even people I didn’t know, like shop keepers. Did I look faint or ill? Then I figured out it was just their way of saying, “How ya doing?”

There are some very funny expressions too, like “She’s all fur coat and no knickers!”

I nearly drove off the road when at a construction area there was a large sign saying, “Cats’ eyes removed.” Why would anyone do that?! Found out that is what they call lane reflectors.

People’s eyes widened in surprise when I said that the uniform of many old men where I came from was a cowboy hat, jeans and suspenders. “Suspenders” are what they call garter belts here! Quite a funny image, actually!

Last year, in an effort to get to know people in my village here in the Lake District, I gave myself the goal of painting one hundred 12 X 12 inches oil paint portraits of neighbors. The response was delightful. I ended up with 123 such portraits. Each person agreed to sit for me for 2 hours. I was convinced to turn it into a book with a brief write-up about each person. I had an exhibition of all 123 paintings in the village hall the day after Boxing Day and people could then take their portraits home. Now I’m working on a sequel: “100 Dogs of Holme”. What fun! People love talking about their dogs.

Here I am doing a portrait demo for the children at the local primary school as part of my “Faces of Holme” book. This is the head teacher, Angela Anderson.

This is my portrait of our vicar, Graham Burrows.

Some of the accumulated portraits on the wall of my studio.

I’m interviewing each dog for the parallel book to the one I wrote of the people in the village, with a little write-up about the dog to go with each portrait. Their responses have been hilarious. Dogs seem to bring out humor in people as they view their lives from the point of view of their dogs. Some of my questions are: “What is your heritage and how did you come to live with this pack? What is your occupation? What is the worst trouble you have been in? Do you know any tricks? What do your people not know about you? What is your advice to young pups?”

The question about the worst trouble they’ve been in has the funniest answers. A large golden retriever managed to get himself totally inside of a dead sheep while his elderly owners had him out on a beach walk far from home. Then there is the standard poodle who ate a £20 note! It was the daughter’s first pay from her first job so it was important to them. They waited 2 days and out it came! They put on rubber gloves, washed it off and sent it away and got a new note! The dogs’ occupations have included, among others, director of security for a garage, lady-in-waiting, children’s entertainer, interior decorator, therapist, building supervisor, personal trainer, ball player, gardener’s helper and psychiatric nurse!

This is the guy who got inside the dead sheep!

I have found that the church is the warm, beating heart of the village. Whenever I “put myself in God’s way” there I feel a peacefulness and serenity that helps me know I made the right decision in changing my life to live here. Unfamiliar hymns and slight differences in familiar prayers make me stop and pay attention and thoughtfully prepared sermons allow me to really reflect on the messages. The warmth of friendship I feel there is comforting as well.

I would tell people making a major change like this to try to stop looking over their shoulders to think about what they left behind. Instead, live in the present and try to see the world with new eyes. And start writing your book right now!

July 7, 2016
Devotional of the week: Branches bearing fruit

Photo: Bs0u10e0, flickr

A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit (Isaiah 11:1–5).

I love walking by a brook near to us, taking in the gentle gurgling water and enjoying the canopy of green from the many trees and shrubs in the area. Often I don’t pay any attention to the tree stumps near to the water. But recently as I was reading the prophecy of Isaiah, I thought of those pieces of wood rooted in the ground: “A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse” (v. 1). And I realized that although something like a tree stump may appear useless or decrepit, God can be working deep within.

Although God’s people at the time of the prophet Isaiah faced enemies and exile, the Lord assured them that hope would spring forth, for from the roots of a stump would come the Branch bearing fruit (v. 1). Another level of meaning in the prophecy is this Branch being the Messiah, Jesus Christ. Not only is he the Branch that bursts forth out of the lifeless stump, but he is the Vine to whom the disciples are connected (see John 15:5).

When you next go for a walk, maybe even near a gurgling brook, consider the roots and stumps that may appear seemingly dead. And know that nothing is impossible with God. May we find hope in the tree of life and be strengthened in our connection to the Lord, who dwells with us.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, thank you for being the Branch to whom we are connected. May your Spirit flow through me, bringing renewal and new life.

July 5, 2016
Happy 4th of July! And a recipe for Fruit Pizza

Happy Fourth of July everyone!

Happy Fourth of July!

I love Independence Day, although I haven’t celebrated one in the States for many years now. And certainly my children (who are in school today) have never had that opportunity to experience the parades, sparklers, picnics, and amazing fireworks. It’s a wonderful community holiday that brings people together.

We are celebrating today though! Having fruit pizza and a BBQ, and actually watching Andy Murray hopefully going through the next round at Wimbledon. I’ve also had the pleasure of writing a blog for Eden.co.uk, a wonderful online retailer who is selling my book at 25% off just now. You can read more about the significance of this holiday in the life of me and Nicholas. We both were led to the story of Abraham, with me sensing the call to be a foreigner in a strange land (as in Hebrews 11:8).

The gorgeous Anna working magic with all the radio controls. Loved being on Premier Christian Radio this morning.

I also got to be interviewed on Premier Christian Radio’s Woman to Woman show, which is a favorite show of mine. Maria Rodrigues was away today, so Anna Cookson interviewed me – you can here our fun and fabulous conversation here, with my segment starting at 40.35. And yes, we somehow managed to talk about tea, along with hamburgers and hot dogs and fireworks.On air I promised the recipe to fruit pizza! It’s very easy and tasty too. One from the Fourth of July summertime BBQ meal I included in Finding Myself in Britain.

Fruit Pizza

Serves 8

1 sheet puff pastry

1–2 280 g tubs cream (soft) cheese

2 tablespoons runny honey

Fruit to decorate

Bake the puff pastry according to the directions (I always make the pizza in a rectangular shape). When it cools, stir together the cream cheese and honey, experimenting with how much you prefer of each. You can also add powdered (icing) sugar if you’d like it sweeter, but I never do. Top the puff pastry with the cheese/honey mixture, and add sliced fruits to decorate. You won’t be surprised to learn that on the Fourth of July I make an American flag using strawberries and blueberries. Add some kiwis, cherries, raspberries – use your imagination and get creative.

July 4, 2016
Grounded by CF Dunn

I love Claire Dunn’s post today, not least because she highlights the truth about home being about people more than places. A poignant reminder to ponder in days of uncertainty.

Home. Now there’s a funny thing. It’s a word we use with abandon – ‘no place like home’, ‘home is where the heart is’, ‘home-from-home’ – and home is something we tend to take for granted without thinking about it too much.

Finding balance.

As the offspring of an RAF pilot, I had many homes when growing up. Until the age of eleven, we moved every two and a half years. No sooner had I settled in one house, than my mother would be up to her elbows in newspaper, wrapping up our world to move to the next. As a child, I had no say in the matter, of course, I just went with the flow. My family was my home and my world, and I moved with it.

Shared memories.

But as a young teen, I became more aware of myself in relation to the world around me – the people, the places, the things – and a growing realisation that I belonged… nowhere. History has always been important to me, perhaps because I felt I had none myself, and a knowledge of the past helped me feel rooted. I searched for meaning, for something to help me feel anchored. At first it was my grandparents’ house in Stamford, and the long history that tied our family to the area. I dreaded the time when we might no longer have any links there, spending hours fretting over the future. And then, one day, my grandmother died, the house was sold, and the last cord that gave me some semblance of stability – of identity – vanished. I felt bereft, displaced, lost.

I turned next to a small and insignificant village in North Cornwall – somewhere generations of my extended family had visited for nearly a hundred years and where I went as often as school holidays allowed. There, I spent happy weeks with my family, my cousins, and cousins of cousins, knowing every tree bent by the sea wind, every rock and every pool. The people in the local town became friends, and I felt more rooted there than anywhere else in the country. Oh, how important it is to be able to identify with a culture, to be able to say you come from somewhere – to belong.

We are family.

But, as I attained adulthood and had my own family, I came to realise that vital though roots are, I needed more to grow. I had become a Christian at the age of eighteen, and felt free for the first time in my life knowing that I had a home in Christ. It wasn’t as simple as that, of course – life didn’t suddenly become easier, but He became my bedrock and helped me change my perspective on life.

I still have a yearning to belong somewhere – to a place, a time, a thing – but it isn’t overwhelming. Instead I treasure the memories I have with my family and the new ones we forge. This is what matters – the history we create. We have a shared history that will continue long after I’m gone and as such, I will always belong.

Writing as CF Dunn, Claire Dunn is a Christian novelist writing historical and contemporary suspense fiction for the general market. Her debut novel Mortal Fire – published by Lion Fiction – won the gold medal for adult romance in the Book Of The Year Awards, 2012, and was nominated for Best Novel by CRT in the same year.

Alongside her first loves of family, history and writing, CF Dunn is passionate about the education and welfare of children with dyslexia, autism and communication difficulties, and runs a special needs school, which she founded in Kent with her husband.

Book four – Realm of Darkness – was recently released in the UK, and The Secret Of The Journal series comes to a heart-stopping conclusion with the publication of book five, Fearful Symmetry, this September.

July 1, 2016
The paradoxes of love

God showers us with his extravagant love – poured out, pressed down, overflowing. His love changes us, for because we are loved, we can love. We don’t have to be stingy or miserly in showing love or even in sharing our physical possessions.

May we all show love today, whether we are pleased or shattered by recent political events. Love binds us together.

June 30, 2016
God Knows Us – A Poem

Photo: New Life Church Collingwood, flickr

Many people memorize this psalm, and I can see why. For us to know the truth that God formed us and loved us transforms the way we see ourselves and those around us. When we’re secure in this foundational knowledge, we’re free to be ourselves – and to be world changers. May we do so today.

June 29, 2016
Devotional of the week: The God Who Lives (12 in ‘Fear Not’)

Photo: Rennett Stowe, flickr

When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive! Revelation 1:12-18

Our time together of considering the phrase “Fear not” started in Genesis and ends in Revelation. We could have spent much longer exploring this theme, for nearly all of the books of the Bible contain this phrase. As puny human beings, fear and awe seem to be our natural reaction when God bursts into our lives. Even the seasoned disciple John falls down flat when the living Lord appears to him.

And rightly so, for as the Proverbs say, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (1:7). A proper and holy fear acknowledges God’s majesty and glory; that he is God and we are not. When we rightly fear him, we want to obey his commands and his leading.

With our two lovely children, we seek to instill in them a healthy fear of the Lord, partly through prayer and teaching, but also through discipline. We don’t enjoy taking away screen time or when they were little sending them to the naughty chair. But encouraging them to change their hearts and obey with a good attitude takes time and perseverance. I wonder if the Lord feels the same with us at times, when we put our own agendas before his, or are ungrateful for his grace.

Jesus appeared to John in a brilliant vision of flashing light and sound. John feared him, but the Lord brought reassurance: He was no longer dead but alive. He had overcome death and the evil one. So too does Jesus want to appear to us, saying “Fear not; I am with you. The waters won’t pass over you. The flames won’t burn you. I will never leave or forsake you. You are my beloved. Fear not, and come with me.”

How will we respond?

Prayer: Holy Father, loving Son, comforting Spirit, we honor you with a holy fear. May you increase our awe and wonder at your glories and goodness. Amen.

June 28, 2016
Finding ourselves in Britain

This morning we find ourselves in Britain after an historic vote. You can probably guess which way I voted! Whatever our views, God remains with us. He’ll never leave.

I share a drawing by my daughter, sent to me this morning by her teacher, on what it means to be British. He says he has no idea where her inspiration comes from! The boy is wearing England football kit and sings the national anthem, and the sandwiches include black pudding. I don’t think she has anything to represent Wales or Northern Ireland though.

May we be united. May we be marked by love. May we remember that God will never leave us.

June 24, 2016
The power of words – and the Word
Me in the middle in 1991 with big hair, and with the special women with whom I lived.

Twenty-five years ago – what were you doing? I was in my twenties and living in Virginia with two wonderful women as I faced a turning point in my life, although I didn’t know it at the time. Having just broken off an engagement to be married, I felt the shattering of my hopes for marriage and a family.

The pain of the broken dreams opened up a bigger question: Who am I? Why was I trying to find my identity in things outside of God, such as romantic relationships, my work, friendships, or even my involvement in church? The question propelled me on an adventure with God as I started to hear the still, small voice of the Lord and the words of the Bible came alive. God the Trinity was awakening me through his word; the Word in me was coming alive.

Those were amazing years of growth as each morning I was eager to awaken early to read the Bible and pray. I was taking the Scriptures and eating them, as in Jeremiah 15:16. And the words – the Word – tasted sweet, as sweet as honey. The words were my food and sustenance; the power of the Word to sustain me.

Those years provided a necessary foundation to my life with God, but of course the story doesn’t end there. The Word continues to work in my life, as I found myself in Britain.

In 1991, I never would have dreamed that I’d make a home in Britain. That’d I’d be a vicar’s wife – I probably didn’t even know what a vicar was! Or that my two amazing children would speak with English accents and a regular part of my day would involve beseeching them not to drop their t’s. That I’d learn about cricket and what the majority of people in the world call football. And how to make a proper cup of tea.

In 1991, I was working for the deep thinker and also deeply humorous man, Os Guinness. Later when I was engaged to Nicholas, Os warned me that in my move to England the little things might all add up to a big thing – such as with language and words. And he was right. At first I would flail around in my conversations, knowing that it wasn’t a “parking lot” but not remembering that it’s a “car park,” or not knowing what nappies were. For a person who worked with words, I was humbled to feel misunderstood and to misunderstand.

But God the Word was with me through Jesus dwelling within and the Holy Spirit’s gentle comfort, and I got through those early days of feeling numb and silenced. What were challenges, such as not communicating easily, became the means of relying more intensely on God. As he met me, my faith grew.

I started to understand a theme of the kingdom of God – that in losing ourselves, we find ourselves. Just as I’ve found myself in Britain. And I mean that in both senses of the word – finding myself here geographically and also finding who I am in terms of my identity in Christ.

For here I’ve found myself as a citizen of heaven and a citizen of the world. I’ve deepened in my vocation as a writer and editor – one who loves words and the Word and who shares them with others.

Life with God is an adventure. His Word in us calms us, showers us with love, and calls forth in us our buried dreams. May we share his words with those whom we meet.

In closing, some questions to ponder.
- Are you willing to lose your life to find it?
- When in your life did times of sacrifice bring great gifts and growth?
- How have the power of words – those written, those spoken, and ultimately the Word – shaped your life and your faith?
This is part of a talk I gave at the 25^th anniversary celebrations for the Books Alive bookshop in Hove on 17 June. The theme of losing yourself to find it is a major one in my book Finding Myself in Britain: Our Search for Faith, Home & True Identity, which you can find here.
June 22, 2016