Amy Boucher Pye

Author: Amy Boucher Pye

  • Weekly Devotional: No mere mortals (5 in Hope and Trust in God series)

    Stop trusting in mere humans, who have but a breath in their nostrils. Why hold them in esteem? Isaiah 2:22

    The book of Isaiah is one of my favorites in the Bible, and I love the last half of the book especially, where the prophet employs glorious imagery as God promises to bring his people back to himself. The words from those chapters come easily to me: the Lord has chosen us and not rejected us; the waters will not sweep over us; the Maker is our husband.

    But before the prophet was given these promises, the Lord first addressed the human arrogance and sin. As we see in this week’s reading, God named the Israelites’ sin of trusting in themselves. And he revealed the folly in doing so – they “have but a breath in their nostrils.” We may not live as if our lives are fleeting, believing instead that we are invincible as we move from one important activity to another. But if we stand back and consider the sweep of time, we see that our lives here on earth are just a blip.

    That might sound depressing. I don’t mean it to be, for as we know from Scripture, the two things to remain are the word of God and his redeemed people who will live with him forever. So while we do have breath, may we trust not in ourselves or others, but in God. We can consciously turn to him for the big questions and the small. What shall I do next? What should our church’s mission be? How can I love my neighbor? As we turn our faces to the Lord, we can see in our mind’s eye him showering us with his wisdom, as if gold dust floating down to us in the sky.

    Reflection: “There are no ‘ordinary’ people. You have never talked to a mere mortal… It is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.” CS Lewis, The Weight of Glory

  • Forgiveness Fridays: A tangible example of the forgiveness of Jesus by Claire Musters

    When I think of Claire Musters, whom I’ve known for several years professionally and personally, I think of her smile. Never could I have imagined her story from nearly two decades ago. (You’ll see what I mean when you read on below.) That I don’t count her as “damaged goods” reveals to me the nature of God’s forgiveness. When he forgives, our slates are wiped clean. Alleluia!

    Our lives were shattered – lying about in little pieces on the floor. And the worst thing was that it was pretty much all down to me. I had chosen to believe the lies, especially the one that whispered that my husband didn’t care about me. I believed it because he worked around the clock in a recording studio and there was little left of him when he was at home. I believed it because my heart was hurting and I was lonely…

    Vulnerable and foolish

    As a woman who had grown up with self-esteem issues, I didn’t deal well with feeling abandoned. When I came before God with my feelings that I didn’t matter to my husband, His answer was that He wanted to take care of me and show me how to lean on Him completely. But I threw it back in His face. I needed someone who could hug me – and God just didn’t seem physical enough at the time.

    But this put me in danger of allowing my emotional needs to be fed by other sources. Eventually, a friendship with another man in my church, which had started innocently enough, resulted with us deciding to leave everything behind and to start a new life together. With our actions we devastated the lives of my husband, the man’s wife and all the other members of our close-knit church community.

    Lost

    Two weeks later he chose to go back to his wife. I was left reeling, feeling totally deserted – but also knowing I deserved it all. Tellingly, it was my husband whom I rang once the other guy left. After all, my husband had been my best friend since I was a teenager so it seemed natural and I called him without thinking. How hard it must have been for him to take me back home, watch me huddled in the foetal position, sobbing endlessly. The next day he moved me, and a lot of my belongings, to my parents’ home where I was to stay until I had healed enough to discover what was next for my life.

    I had lost everything by wrongfully pinning my hopes on another human being rather than God. And I was like a wounded animal at times – licking my wounds, lashing out, wanting to be left alone. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for my husband going home, getting up for work each day and not knowing whether our marriage was salvageable.

    Of course, we had deep issues that needed dealing with within our marriage. But I had to get to a place, first, of believing there was a future there. That I could look past all the years of hurt and misunderstanding and repent as well as forgive, and move on.

    A taste of real love

    When my husband visited me, at times I felt a little suffocated, as I knew he was trying his best to win me back. But, most of the time, he was gracious, gentle and loving, knowing also when to give me space. How he responded to me during that horrific time of limbo taught me what real love is. He showed me Jesus’ love for me in a very tangible way.

    I had used him terribly – basically turned my back on him – and all our friends knew about it. And yet he was there, whenever I felt I could see him, a solid anchor who remained firm. He showed me that, even though I had done the worst thing I could to him, his love for me hadn’t faltered. He proved, over and over again, that he wanted our marriage to work.

    Yes, we had counselling. And yes, we both had to face up to our failings, to understand the responsibility we had for one another and the changes that needed to occur. But his gentle patience during that time melted my hardened, broken heart. Even after I was back home, there would be moments when I would be wracked with emotional pain all over again and he would just hold me, caring for me through the tears.

    Salvation through sacrifice

    I know it must have been so, so excruciatingly difficult for him, and he certainly laid down his life for me. He also spoke to his bosses about what was going on, and the result was a miracle: studios always work around the clock but they agreed to put into practise the unheard of rule that the studio my husband ran would close by 8pm. Yes, his sacrifice saved our marriage – and revealed another layer of God’s love to me in such a powerful way.

    Although this period of time was more than 16 years ago now, I can’t help but think of my husband’s loving sacrifice anytime I ponder the concept of forgiveness. You can read more of our story, and the passion for authentic openness that it birthed inside of me, in my forthcoming book: Taking off the mask: learning to live authentically.

    Claire Musters is an author, speaker and editor, mum to two gorgeous children, pastor’s wife, worship leader and school governor. Claire’s desire is to help others draw closer to God through her writing, which focuses on authenticity, marriage, parenting, worship, discipleship, issues facing women today etc. Her books include Taking your Spiritual Pulse, CWR’s Insight Into Managing Conflict and Insight Into Self-acceptance, Cover to Cover: David A man after God’s own heart and BRF Foundations21 study guides on Prayer and Jesus. She also writes Bible study notes, and her next co-written book, Insight Into Burnout, is due out in February. She is also working on her own book: Taking off the mask: learning to live authentically. This was borne out of the experience that she describes above. To find out more about her, please visit www.clairemusters.com and @CMusters on Twitter.

    Amy’s book The Living Cross explores forgiveness through a series of daily Bible readings for Lent. You can find out more about it, and how to purchase, here.

  • Watercolor Wednesday – winter white

    I love the starkness of this painting by Leo Boucher. Minnesota in the winter: the leaves stripped bare; a fresh layer of snow on the ground. All is still. May you know the peace of the Creator God who brings life out of what appears dead.

  • The living cross means freedom

    An image you may want to share. The cross lives, and imparts freedom! . #TheLivingCross

  • Weekly Devotional: Longing fulfilled (4 in Hope and Trust in God series)

    Photo: ‘Tree of Awe’ by Trevor Cameron, flickr

    Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12

    A friend prayed this proverb for me when major life plans were dashed. I had thought the Lord was guiding me to move to another city to work with a Christian organization there. Conveniently, in that city lived a man whom I was sure the Lord had told me I would marry. But in the space of a week, I knew that neither would happen – neither would I work there nor marry that wonderful man.

    My friend realized that I had seriously misheard the Lord, but she didn’t pass judgment on me. Rather she ministered to me through this proverb, for she saw that what my heart hoped for – marriage and being involved in an organization I loved – was now not coming true. And if I let my deferred hope fester within, my heart could become sick with sadness and disappointment.

    She prayed with me, and helped me to release some of the pain and disbelief to God. I started to understand that I needed to mature in my listening; to test what I was hearing not only against the Bible but with trusted prayer partners.

    It’s interesting that Solomon in this proverb simply observes the effects of hope deferred and longing fulfilled. He’s not pointing fingers at causes or behaviors that may have brought about the hope deferred. Sometimes merely stating the situation can bring healing and clarity – as with my friend who saw what was happening in my heart but didn’t tear me down for the mess I’d made.

    Through my painful experience, I learned to give the Lord my dreams and plans. I became more rooted in his word and more mature in discerning his voice. And eventually my longings fulfilled became a tree of life.

    Prayer: Root us in your word, Lord, that we might drink of your nourishment and feed on your good food.

  • Forgiveness Fridays – ‘I am that woman!’

    Forgiveness is freedom – it’s an adage I often say, but one that Tania Vaughan embodies as she shares, “I am that woman.” The sinner. The spit upon. The one greatly loved who is forgiven. What a moving and faith-building narrative – may we all know that same freedom.

    Heading to Luke chapter 7 and the story of ‘A sinful woman forgiven’ in a series about forgiveness may seem rather obvious but this story has always touched me. I am that woman.

    Because I recognise her, I am amazed at the bravery she shows in entering the home of Simon the Pharisee. She was the kind of woman who was not accepted in polite circles and would not have been invited to dinner. It’s possible some of the men knew her, maybe intimately. They certainly knew who and what kind of woman she was. Yet none of them spoke it out loud.

    I’m sure it was obvious to her that they knew by the looks they gave her and each other. No-one said it but they were thinking it. In the passage it says that Simon ‘said to himself’, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what kind of woman this is who is touching him—that she is a sinner.” (Luke 7:39 NRSV). She was the kind of woman who should not be touching a rabbi.

    I was that kind of woman. Maybe I didn’t sell myself, but I sold myself short. Long before I knew Jesus I filled an empty and broken life with drinking and men. I lived on the fringe of polite circles where everyone knew what kind of woman I was, some personally. In company no-one said a word but they sent sidelong glances to me and passed knowing looks between themselves. I was not the kind of woman you invited in.

    Jesus reached out to me, a woman like that!

    The woman in the story wasn’t invited in to dinner but she entered the house; maybe it was a house she knew but she wasn’t welcome. She stood beside Jesus and poured her tears out on him, washing his feet. What gave her the courage to enter someone’s home and do that? It’s the same thing that gives me the courage to stand and tell my story without shame.

    It’s knowing unconditional love, acceptance and unquestioning forgiveness. Not just receiving all of that but having faith in the giver and faith to receive it. Jesus says to her ‘Your faith has saved you; go in peace’ (Luke 7:50 NRSV).

    Peter Paul Rubens and Anthony van Dyck. A woman washes Christ’s feet in the house of Simon the Pharisee. circa 1615. Saint Petersburg, Hermitage Museum.

    Having the faith to receive forgiveness is much harder than it sounds. Although for many years I believed that God had forgiven me, I had no faith in that forgiveness and had not forgiven myself. I could not go in peace.

    Jesus not only pours out an abundance of forgiveness giving us courage to stand. He pours himself into us giving us the faith to forgive ourselves. It was only when I had accepted Jesus within me and forgiven myself that I had the courage to speak.

    That woman was brave and could stand in a room where people knew who and what she was not because Jesus forgave her but because she accepted his forgiveness and took it upon herself. I am that woman.

    Tania Vaughan is a speaker and writer. She loves teaching from the Bible and sharing her testimony at events and conferences to encourage women into a deeper relationship with God. Tania is currently studying Theology at Trinity College in Bristol and working as a freelance web designer to fund her studies (www.hartandesign.com).

    You can find out more about Tania, read devotions, listen to audio teaching and book her to speak at your event through her website www.taniavaughan.com.

    Amy’s book The Living Cross explores forgiveness through a series of daily Bible readings for Lent. You can find out more about it, and how to purchase, here.

  • Watercolor Wednesdays – Woman in Red

    I’m cheating, for today’s painting by my dad, Leo Boucher, isn’t a watercolor but I think an acrylic. I love the vibrant colors and the expression of the woman in red (a favorite color). Is she chuckling over a special memory? Enjoying the breeze that’s ruffling her hair? Trying to work a crick out of her neck?

    What do you see when you look at this painting?

  • Forgiveness is…

    Feel free to download and share this image on the radical nature of forgiveness. #TheLivingCross

  • Weekly Devotional: On the path with Jesus (3 in Hope and Trust in God series)

    Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5–6)

    We might be tempted to think that this famous proverb is a prophecy. That is, if we put our trust in God, he will make everything work out – according to what we think is best. But the obvious fallacy there is that God is God and we are not. In contrast, when we trust fully in God, we bow to him with our plans, our hopes, our dreams, our futures. We seek his wisdom rather than our own.

    And yet, amazingly, the Lord invites us to collaborate with him. He’s ahead of us, making our paths straight, but he’s also alongside us, as we join our hand in his. Throughout the day we can be engaged in a conversation with him, seeking his will and wisdom. When we are tempted to fly off the handle at our colleague, our child, or our neighbor, we can heed that quiet voice inside us as the Holy Spirit urges us to respond to their harsh words with kindness. Or we can enjoy the spark of inspiration as we create a tasty new dish, an insightful poem, or when we realize we know just what to say to a hurting friend.

    And as we trust in God, he’s also behind us, as in Isaiah 30:21: “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.’” The Lord wants to guide us, but he also wants us to use the initiative and creativity that he’s given to us. And so when we turn to the left or the right, we’ll hear his affirming voice saying that we’re walking his way.

    How can you submit to and trust in the Lord today?

    Prayer: Lord God, we might know that proverb word for word in our heads. Please make it come alive to us today in our every thought, word and deed.

     

  • Forgiveness Fridays: How an abused wife forgave

    I read my first guest author’s contribution through tears, humbled at her courage and bravery. How she kept going, and how she was able to forgive, is the mystery we will explore in this series. I can’t thank her enough for being so open in sharing her story. For reasons of protecting her children, she asked not to be named. Trigger warning – abuse.

    I knew I had to act the day I came home and found my thirteen-year-old screwed up in a ball on the floor screaming out of fear of her father.

    It was the culmination of a long saga of abuse, control and unfaithfulness and I was the proverbial frog in the kettle. By the time it began to dawn on me that I didn’t have to be treated like this and that I was not a failure but was being wronged by the man I loved, I felt it was too late to get out.

    I had made my marriage vows before God, I’d had every reason to believe my husband was a godly man – he was a deacon and the church youth leader – and as far as I could see from the story of God making a covenant with Abraham, a covenant is unilateral. Just because my husband didn’t keep to what he had promised before God, that didn’t entitle me to disregard my own vows. I believed that in the great scheme of things my faithfulness was more important than my happiness, and to a large extent I still stand by that. But I can now see, as I couldn’t then, that there comes a time when you should and must get out.

    By the time of finding my daughter in a heap on the floor, I had been married to my husband for 27 years. I sent her to a safe friend’s for the weekend and went away to a retreat centre to pray about what to do. My church pastors urged me to get him out of the house for everyone’s safety but I had to hear it from God for myself. While I was away, an incident happened with my eldest daughter, then in her twenties, and I knew that for everyone’s safety he had to leave. He refused. But when our pastor pointed out that we had evidence we could take to the police unless he went, he left.

    During our separation I cried out to God to show me how to forgive. I knew I must – if I didn’t it would eat away at me and, more importantly, would hinder my relationship with Jesus. But I didn’t know how to forgive. It was one thing to forgive what my husband had done to me, but our children had also been harmed, and that was so much harder to forgive. And so I began to read everything Jesus had to say on the topic of forgiveness.

    And I noticed something – Jesus talked about forgiveness a number of times. But there was only one place where He defined what he meant by it, and that was in Matthew chapter 18, where He defined it as cancelling a debt. Once I realised that, I knew what I had to do. So I took a blank piece of paper and on it I wrote down everything my husband owed me, from the marriage vows he had made, and from what the Bible instructs Christian husbands to do:

    • He owes it to me to love me.
    • He owes it to me to honour me.
    • He owes it to me to cherish me.
    • He owes it to me to forsake all others.
    • He owes it to me to be faithful to me alone as long as we both shall live.
    • He owes it to me to love me as Christ loved the Church.
    • He owes it to me to wash me with the water of his words.
    • He owes it to me to lay down his life for me.
    • He owes it to me to live with me as heirs together of the grace of life.
    • He owes it to me not to provoke our children.

    And so on, until I had listed everything that came to mind. And then, at the bottom of the page, I wrote, “Lord Jesus, with your help I am cancelling this debt and regarding it henceforth as paid in full.” And I signed and dated it, just as if it were a legal document.

    At once I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from me. I told no one what I had done, but folded the paper and secreted it in my prayer journal. The next day, I met up with my husband, who up to that point had shown no remorse or repentance for his conduct. He handed me a large bouquet of flowers and said, “I owe you an apology. I’ve been completely out of order.” I was staggered beyond words. It was as if my forgiveness, given in the secret of my own heart and witnessed only by God, had unblocked a spiritual channel and set him free to begin to repent.

    I wish that was the end of the story. After six months he moved back home, and gradually the pattern of unfaithfulness, lying and deceit crept back in. Eventually the abuse became so damaging I knew I had to get myself and my youngest child, who was still living at home, out and into a place of safety. This time there was no going back and we were divorced after 31 years of marriage.

    Two years later he was taken ill and died quite suddenly, but I was able to sit at his bedside just before he died and assure him that the past was all forgiven and he had nothing more to reproach himself with. In the final hours of his life I witnessed him reach a place of peace with God. I know that if God had not shown me how to go about forgiving, my subsequent life would have been blighted by bitterness. Instead I am enjoying a freedom I never knew when I was married.

    Amy’s book The Living Cross explores forgiveness through a series of daily Bible readings for Lent. You can find out more about it, and how to purchase, here.