Friendship Fridays: Sticky like family by Sarah De Mey

07 Jul 2023

We might experience pangs of jealousy when we read Sarah’s reflections on her close and intimate family, but if that’s the case for you, take heart in her conclusions at the end:

Eleven. I moved eleven times before the age of 25. Daddy was a pastor and his work took us to three states and nine different cities. Change was constant. The one thing more constant than change, however, was my siblings who went through all the relocations together.

There are more than a few of us—five to be exact. And with every move, our bond became stickier and stickier. We all understood what it meant to start a new school, attend a new church, make new friends. And we did all those things, but we also leaned heavily into each other on days when change was just too much to bear alone.

Fast-forward 20 years and you find us clinging to each other when our daddy passed away as we surrounded his bed. In the minutes before his funeral we laughed until we cried, because, for us, laughter—a gift Daddy freely gave—is life-giving. On that day we were laughing about his “river” dancing, which was so comically bad we called it the “polluted river” dance. I’m not sure the pastor was amused, but Mama smiled and said through tears, “I’m amazed by how much lighter grief seems when you’re not carrying it alone.”

And almost 10 years later these same people surrounded me at the funeral of my oldest child. And we leaned into each other and shared tear-filled hugs and life-giving laughter. And in the following days, weeks, and months, friends who stick by me like family showed up. A knock on the door. Cards in the mailbox. Delicious meals and gifts cards for more. Mopping floors and washing dishes. Sitting with me in my grief. My burden didn’t vaporize, but oh how much lighter I felt.

Proverbs 18:24: “Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family” (MSG).

My siblings and I are genetically related, but Scripture never mentions that as a prerequisite to true friendship. You know you have and are a true friend when you can lean into each other in hard times, laugh until you cry, weed gardens together, and simply sit with each other when there are no words. Not everyone has a close family of origin, but praise Jesus, shared genes are not required to be sticky like family.

Sarah De Mey, managing editor with Our Daily Bread Publishing, loves God and people . . . and books! When she’s not editing, you can find her going for breakfast (the best meal of the day) with her husband of 25 years, hanging out with her two teenagers and their friends (who call her Mama De Mey), gardening, and catching up on ‘80s and ‘90s reruns. Writers at every age and stage can connect with Sarah on Facebook at Editing Insiders with Janyre and Sarah.