“Enjoying the Waiting Room” by Ruthann Yeaton: 7 Ways to Pray blog series

I’ve appreciated getting to know Ruthann recently and have been moved and inspired by how she is negotiating life after the death of her husband. Her prayer life is blossoming and she’s feeling God’s nearness. I think you’ll be inspired too!

I have been journaling my journey as a widow since the passing of my husband, Norman. Our marriage was nearly 40 years. We were good friends, and our ongoing conversations were about anything that needed words: family, his illness and all the details that go into years of the stressors of care, finances, travel to doctors and more. As Norman’s illness intensified, our conversations were of things one considers as life races toward physical death. Of course, we talked of our relationship and of our relationship to God, both as individuals and as a couple. And how I would get along without Norman.

When he passed, I began to frequently read Our Daily Bread as a midday pick-me-up and an affirmation of God’s love and presence. The two questions following the daily text reading most often needed more than a quick response. So I began writing down my thoughts and responses to these questions, sometimes enjoying a smile as I knew how Norman would have added to my own thoughts, or argued for one of his to be included!

What began as an Our Daily Bread “go-along” became more complex. My little sticky notes and backs of envelopes became a real, daily journal. Each day, I write down things I am thankful for, maybe some random thoughts or feelings of grief, a verse that speaks to something I am working through, or a reminder that I am God’s work in progress. And of course, my answers to the Our Daily Bread questions.

And there is a prayer list. I like this written reminder of those who need prayer (including me!) and it is joyful to write down God’s responses and answers to the prayers. The waiting room can be crowded sometimes, but as I’m waiting for God’s response or plan, I’m amazed at the others I meet who are sharing that room. And what’s more amazing is when someone asks me to pray for them—what an honor! And onto the list they go! There are so many resolutions: a baby born premature, yet surprising doctors who expected him to be in the hospital far longer; a life-long friend whose husband deals with much physical pain, yet perseveres and remains joyful and hopeful, knowing the love his friends hold as they pray for this pain—knowing that God is listening; or my prayer for help with my own loneliness that brought a new friend into my life. It is so humbling, yet powerful, to thank God for his answers to an item on this list.

All of this started with my need to bring sustenance to my life following the loss of my husband and best friend. But as I write in this journal, it is so much more. There are times when I can “hear” my husband’s response to the questions, and that memory becomes a journaled reminder of our marriage and the discussions—agree or not—that filled our days and years. Perhaps, at first, this journal was a way to continue the conversations with Norman? I can’t answer that, but I have my suspicions! I do know these Our Daily Bread readings and journaling have helped me grow as a widow with purpose and determination to thankfully receive God’s blessings—and share them—as I learn how to live this new life.

Ruthann Yeaton is a retired widow reinventing her life after years as an insurance-providing breadwinner and then caretaker. Her life is simpler now, yet busy with friends she missed, new friends, my adult children and a new grandchild. She lives in a huge old house, and spends some of her time working on the “downsize,” although that is not always the best way to enjoy one’s hours! Her daily walks are perfect times to pray, sing (really, you don’t want to hear that, but the cornfields don’t seem to mind), and admire the beautiful colors of midwestern farm country. Way back in the day, she studied Art; now she studies the Art of God’s masterpiece, and it is remarkable in the visual changes, the music of nature, the smells of a field of clover, the play of light on snow.

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