“From Imaginary Friends to Beautiful Saviour: A Journey in Prayer” by Ruth Leigh: 7 Ways to Pray blog series

What a moving account by Ruth of moving from a prescribed prayer life to one of freedom and grace. I’m sure you’ll be encouraged by her blogpost. You might consider spending a few moments charting out your own prayer journey, in the fashion she illustrates.

One of my earliest memories. Two little hands – mine pressed together, my eyes squeezed shut. I’m about three, in Sunday School at prayer time, sitting at the front. I turn round, craning my neck to see my three special friends. They never sit behind me, where all the big children go. They’re always standing together in a group by the wall, ready to come over if I need them.

No-one else can see them. They are my imaginary friends, Charles, Jenny and Ruth.

I know all about Jesus, who is also my special friend. I can’t see Him, but there are pictures of Him around the room, His kind face smiling at me. I am glad He loves me and I like singing the songs about Him loving all the children of the world, me included.

Until the age of fourteen, when I turn my back on church, my prayer life is ordered by others. I’ve been taught that Jesus is always listening, but at home, we parrot the same grace before each meal and say the same prayer before bed every night. Freestyling is not encouraged.

When I become a Christian aged twenty-six, I renew my acquaintance with Jesus. I start to pray in what I hope is the correct way, thanking him for what he’s done for me, interceding for others and only at the end of my prayer asking Him for what I need. I’m still a child, copying what others do and trying to be good. I haven’t yet realised that He wants me to be extravagant and honest with him, to pour out my heart and invite Him fully in.

Aged thirty-five, I have a mini-breakdown. I am struggling with undiagnosed depression and my way of dealing with it is to pack my life with achievement. Sitting in my office in London, I burst into tears, overwhelmed by all the things I have to do. Desperate, I consult two close friends at church who suggest that we pray into my unhappiness.

To my amazement, words of knowledge, verses of scripture and prophecies come pouring from these two ladies. God knows me, He knows what I need and all I have to do is ask.

Here I am in my new writing studio aged fifty-five. I wake every morning to spend time with my Saviour and I ask Him for protection against the enemy. Fears and anxieties and demons swirl around me but I am safe, covered in prayer. Once upon a time, I would have read these words and been utterly baffled, but now, finally, I know even if I can’t see my Friend, I can feel the warmth of His love through prayer.

These days, the words that fly up to Heaven are mine and it’s more of a conversation. I hope that the second half of my life is more about freedom in praise and prayer – I don’t put my hands together and squeeze my eyes shut these days, and I haven’t seen my imaginary friends since my sister was born, but the comfort of knowing that I’m never alone nestles deep in my heart.

Ruth is a novelist and freelance writer. She is married with three children, one husband, assorted poultry and a kitten. She is the author of The Diary of Isabella M Smugge, The Trials of Isabella M Smugge and is currently writing The Continued Times of Isabella M Smugge. She writes for a number of small businesses and charities, reviews books for Reading Between the Lines and blogs at ruthleighwrites.co.uk. Ruth has abnormally narrow sinuses and a morbid fear of raw tomatoes, but has decided not to let this get in the way of a meaningful life. You can find her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and TikTok at @ruthleighwrites and at her website.

Order 7 Ways to Pray here, including in the US, UK, and Australia. You’ll also find lots of resources for small groups – videos and a leader’s guide – here.