Five Minute Friday: When God felt distant

Some years ago I thought I was listening to God when I decided to move halfway across the country to work for a different organization. Caught up in the delight of hearing God’s voice, I went overboard in my enthusiasm. I didn’t test out what I was hearing. I got it all wrong, and I was devastated. If that’s what hearing God lands me, I’m not going to speak to him, I thought, pain reverberating through my stomach.

But where else could I go? After months of feeling distant from God, I tiptoed my way back to him. Tentative. Heart worried and weary. Are you there, God?

Silence.

I was too afraid to hear that still, small voice. He was there, but I was fearful. And so I started off slowly and carefully. I began again to pray. I wasn’t looking for a direct line to God any more, but I didn’t want the feeling of distance to define my relationship with him.

Slowly, slowly, I started to trust again. I opened my eyes to other ways of God speaking to me – through his Spirit, through the beauty of creation, through the Bible.

And I realized that he had never been the distant one.

That had been me.

He was right there with me the whole time.

I am taking part in the #fiveminutefriday community. To write your own and link up with the other writers, you can do so here.