Amy Boucher Pye

Tag: spiritual direction

  • What is spiritual direction?

    So what is spiritual direction? We’ve inherited this term, and unfortunately, it may conjure up images of a somewhat scary authority figure telling another what to do. That’s not my desire or my way of working! A better name is spiritual accompaniment, which captures the role of one who seeks to notice God’s working in the life of another.

    In SD sessions, we examine the person’s relationship with God, how this relationship can flourish, and the directions God is inviting them into. I find it such a joy to hear how people notice God working in their lives and how they are responding to God’s invitations. Often they will have one main topic they’d like to explore in a session.

    With my desire to facilitate people encountering God, I offer an opening prayer exercise (such as one from my book 7 Ways to Pray). I give a choice between two or three different ones, as it can be interesting for the directee to notice how they react (including resistance). Of course, they don’t need to start off the session in this way; it’s completely up to them. I’ve found it joyful and encouraging to lead one person in a prayer exercise (in contrast to a group), learning and modifying over the years – such as inviting people to turn off their cameras for privacy, asking them to choose how long to be in silence instead of me moving them along after a set amount of time, and inviting them afterward if they want to share about the prayer time or to address another topic.

    Spiritual direction is about the slow but sure work of God. Hearing people notice how they are changing under the Spirit’s loving care brings me such joy. I count it a gift and privilege to walk with some of God’s beloved in this way.

    Want more?

    You might appreciate reading this short article on why spiritual direction matters to spiritual formation published by Coracle, with whom I’m associated as a SD. Wondering what the difference is between SD and other helping professions such as mentors, coaches, and counsellors? I recommend this article by Margot Eyring, who heads up the SDs at Coracle. I also recommend these 11 questions to consider asking a prospective spiritual director.

    Find out more about Amy from visiting her YouTube channel with prayer practices or on social media sites too. She also writes a monthly newsletter and has written seven books and numerous devotional articles.

  • Why I haven’t shared about being a spiritual director

    Over the past four years, I’ve added a moniker to my biography – “spiritual director,” an old-fashioned term for someone who accompanies another on their journey with God. I’ve noticed recently that I don’t share about this work much. As I’ve pondered why, I’ve realized that the main reason is that my role feels hidden and precious. When people share deep and tender offerings during our sessions, I promise to hold their thoughts and feelings in confidence.* I also don’t name those with whom I meet to my family or friends, nor state on social media that I might know someone in this context. My guarding of their stories has seemed to seep into me not talking about being a spiritual director at all.

    Perhaps I’m extra careful about confidentiality because as a writer, I could be tempted to mine the stories I hear. In my introduction letter that I send to people enquiring about working together (although I’m currently fully booked), I state something that should go without saying but I feel needs to be spelled out:

    I promise never to write up anything that you talk about during our sessions. God is a God of abundance and for my writing I can find plenty of already-published stories to share.

    We don’t have to hold an official role as a spiritual director to prize confidentiality, of course. When a friend or family member shares vulnerably with us, we can treat that confidence as a wrapped gift, one meant to be opened only between them and us. And God can help us to keep our mouths closed, nudging us through the Holy Spirit when we’re tempted to share someone else’s problems or concerns under the banner of intercession or “keeping the body informed.” God is a God of respect and honor, and, being made in his image, we too can exude these qualities.

    How important is confidentiality to you?

    * I only would share in certain safeguarding situations. Also, when I meet for peer-group supervision or with my own spiritual director, I might give generalized details as I reflect upon the work and how it’s affecting me and my life with God.