Amy Boucher Pye

Tag: memoir

  • Review: Scary Close by Don Miller

    I’ve been remiss in posting reviews. Here is one originally published in the March 2015 Woman Alive book club.

    078521318XReading the latest offering from a familiar writer can feel a bit like catching up with an old friend. In the Woman Alive book club in late 2006 we discussed Blue Like Jazz (review posted here), Don Miller’s breakout hit that was turned into a movie. In Scary Close Don continues to share his emotions and thoughts openly, as if inviting the reader over to dinner and a long chat.

    He recounts his move to marriage, a long journey as he used to be a serial dater; one who would obsess over winning a girlfriend and then, once he caught her, he’d lose interest, break her heart, and move on to the next. He’s been open about his “father wounds,” stemming from his dad leaving his family when Don was a young boy; surely some of this fear of commitment had roots in those early traumas.

    Scary Close shows flashes of insight and brilliance; I love his strong images, such as how he describes his new-girlfriend-later-wife, “She’d no sooner end a relationship than she’d cut down an old-growth tree. In the heat of that argument I realized I was only a sapling in the forest of this woman’s life… If I was going to win her heart, I’d have to plant myself in the forest and slowly grow the rings that earn loyalty…” (pp. 4-5).

    But I tried to ascertain what unsettled me, and after a while I realized that it feels as if Don’s Christian faith has been shoved to a corner. He speaks of working through deep issues such as identity, the need to perform and impress, trust and intimacy, by looking to psychology for the answers. Now I’m not wanting to discredit psychology; of course the Lord works through the social sciences to aid and bring healing. But it feels like these manmade systems have taken precedence in shaping who he is. Even Don saying that he’s not been to church in five years made me take pause; has his journey of questioning moved him away from the God of answers, the God who wants his all?

    Of course we as readers aren’t really invited to dinner with a writer; we don’t know what’s going on in their heart and mind, so my conjectures are just that – unproven propositions. I’d be happy to be wrong.

    Read it for the evocative language and probing questions about intimacy and relationships, but read it asking for what’s not said as much as what is.

    Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy by Don Miller (Thomas Nelson, ISBN 978-0785213185)

     

  • Review – memoir of life in Afghanistan

    408143_1_ftcI came across this gripping memoir through a review in the Woman Alive Book Club, and was grateful for the recommendation. In the Land of the Blue Burqas tells the stories of an American woman who spent five years in Afghanistan, working for an NGO with the goal of helping Afghan women. She recounts her experiences in a winsome manner; when reading I felt like she was sharing the stories over a cup of tea – even though she used a pseudonym to protect herself and her friends. I could sense her love and respect for the Afghan people she met.

    What struck me most was the hidden world of Afghanistan, namely the world of women. They live behind walls, closed in. In public they walk silently, not making eye contact with men. Nor would any man enter another family’s aouli (family compound) unannounced. If he visited, he would be served in an outer courtyard by a young girl or boy; the woman would have been given time to hide inside. But women move freely from one aouli to another, joining in with the lives of their women neighbours and forming a deep sense of community. The author experienced this strong friendship as she sipped their tea and ate the nuts and treats offered.

    Kate McCord found out that for women, the worst day of their life was when they married. Brides would be young – twelve or thirteen – and the marriages arranged. As one woman said, “My husband is a good man; he only hit me a little at first when we married.” But men said their best day was when they marred their first wife (many have more than one). The author learned more about women in Afghanistan than many men knew.

    I also appreciated how strongly she held to her Christian beliefs, sharing them graciously without forcing them on anyone. She learned the local language and sought to find out about Islam. When issues of faith came up, which was nearly every encounter, she sought a creative way of putting things, often by telling a Bible story that would lead to an unexpected ending. It would blow away the hearer’s preconceptions – if they allowed.

    When the security in her town disintegrated, she was forced to leave. She left her home, fruit trees, dog and the friends she had grown to love. But the stories of these beautiful people she will have as a gift forever.

    Jump into the rickshaw and enter this fascinating world.

    In the Land of the Blue Burqas, Kate McCord (Moody, ISBN 978-0802408143)

  • Review of a quirky memoir

    A year or so ago I read nearly twenty books for a feature article in the Christian publishing trade magazine. That’s a lot of reading, even for a self-confessed bibliophile such as me. In the midst of all those words, the ones that stood out to me were those in Dallas and the Spitfire, the story of an unlikely friendship. Why? Because the author’s unique voice came through so clearly. His writing style is easy and engaging, and his footnotes are a fun place where he lets rip with wisecracks and asides. More importantly, the content is encouraging and thought provoking. For me the only negative was the shameless copying of the typeface/artwork of the similar hit book of a few years ago, Same Kind of Different as Me (although I tried to read that book and didn’t get very far, whereas I lapped up this one).

    dallasSFThe main author here is Ted Kluck, a freelance writer in his mid-thirties who lives in Michigan in the States and inhabits a Christian Reformed subculture. He meets Dallas, a young guy in his early twenties who has experienced more of life than many have who are twice his age. But not all of what he’s lived through has brought life. His father introduced him to drinking at the tender age of eight, and he lost his virginity at ten. He became a hardened drug addict, living a precarious life on the edge, fuelled by the desire and need to fund his habit. His actions led him to jail, and then eventually into a Bible-based rehab program. It was here when he first met Dallas.

    Their friendship is that of father to son, mentor to mentoree, friend to friend. Men seem to communicate best shoulder to shoulder, so their shared project of restoring an old European car gives them the excuse to hang out and do life together. Ted helps Dallas in his first year as a Christian as he navigates the strange waters of a fundamentalist Bible college, survives heartbreak over a romantic relationship, and manages to stay clean and off of drugs. Dallas in turn helps Ted, a neophyte when it comes to car restoration, to bring life to the old British Spitfire. And more than just car repair, he brings joy, hope, and the reminder through his changed life that our God is really able to do more than we could ask or imagine.

    A great read. My eyes admittedly glazed over at all the car descriptions and a few of Ted’s sideabout ramblings, but overall the story of the two’s friendship made for compelling and even compulsive reading.

    Dallas and the Spitfire: An Old Car, An Ex-Con and an Unlikely Friendship, Ted Kluck and Dallas Jahncke (Bethany, ISBN 978-0764209611)