Amy Boucher Pye

Tag: Amy Young

  • “Prayer is like . . .” by Amy Young: 7 Ways to Pray blog series

    So often we wish for clear instructions. If you do this, that will happen. Or a, b, and c will definitely lead to d. But life isn’t like that – as we see with Amy Young’s delightful post. I love American football and I don’t love baseball, but I appreciate her wonderful illustration. Enjoy! (And Go Broncos! Go Vikings!)

    Although I’m grateful for the Lord’s prayer, I wish that the disciples would have asked Jesus another question. In addition to asking Jesus to teach them to pray, I wish they’d also asked Jesus, “How does prayer work?”

    You’ve also probably wondered how prayer works. In my imagination (see Chapter 6 of 7 Ways to Pray), I see a group of us around the table enjoying a meal with Jesus. The conversation weaves around and in a lull I ask Jesus my question: “How does prayer work?”

    Since I’m at the table with Jesus and he is earthy and relatable, I believe he would use sports and parts of modern life in his answer. (If there’s one thing to know about Amy Boucher Pye and me, it’s that we love American football. If you hear loud cheers (or groans) for the Vikings or Broncos, chances are it’s one of us.) Jesus smiles at my question about prayer, leans back, and begins to tell a parable.

    I lean in and this is what Jesus shares.

    Prayer doesn’t work like a vending machine where you insert coin after coin, select D6, and wait expectantly for the candy bar you selected to pop out of the bottom of the machine, virtually guaranteed of the outcome.

    Instead, prayer is like a baseball player who steps up to the plate, bat in hand ready to take his turn at bat. He never knows exactly what will happen, but he knows the rules of the game well enough to know what could happen. He could strike out or he could be walked to first base . . . or better yet, he might get on base with a hit. That same batter doesn’t know when he steps up to the plate the duration, will this be a short at bat that will end disappointingly after only one pitch? Or is he about to engage in a long at-bat in which the exchange between the pitcher and the batter almost seems like a battle?

    Sometimes the batter won’t have to do much and he gets on base and is able to score a run for his team. Other times his turn ends in frustration, even anger at a poor call by the ump. And he stomps off indignity after being treated so unjustly!

    His at-bat could result in getting to first base, which of course is exciting, or he could hit a double or even a homerun. On rare occasions the batter finds himself at a crucial point in the game as he steps up to the plate and the outcome of his at-bat can really affect the game’s outcome.

    It’s not that prayer is a game between you and God or that God is the umpire judging the pitcher and the batter. Instead, prayer is an endeavor that involves the dance between the predicable and the wild. It embodies hope and longing, and the risk that unlike a vending machine, there are no guarantees. Prayer teems with anticipation, the collective holding of the breath of everyone watching, the longing for what could be, and the eruption in celebration when the crack of the bat is heard throughout the ball park.

    You’re not guaranteed a specific result when you bat in a baseball game, but you are guaranteed that something will happen. So it is with prayer; mystery, skill, effort, beauty, and even love mingle together as you take your turn and offer your prayer.

    Jesus looks me full in the eye as he says “and offer your prayer.” He knows in my younger years I played on a youth softball team and wasn’t very good at batting. If prayer is like that, Lord help us, Lord help me, we’re in trouble.

    Jesus continues:

    Amy, when you only think of baseball on the major league level, sure, you see the sport at its highest level, but you don’t see it as its richest. There are little leagues, company teams, and far more who play for the love of the game than because it is their job and they’re professionals. I’m not asking you to be an all-star; I’m inviting you into a relationship.

    I reflect on the conversation as the meal comes to an end. In truth, I offer some of my prayers easily but others with weariness because I’ve been praying them for years. Thrillingly I’ve experienced answers to prayers that go far beyond what I could have imagined. I’ve been confused, frustrated, disappointed, delighted, in awe, and humbled by my prayers and the responses from God. While I wish at times prayer was more like a vending machine, in truth, I don’t actually prayer to be like that because then I’d be in control.

    So, the next time someone asks you, “How does prayer work?”

    You can smile and tell them, “Prayer works like a baseball player who steps up to the plate, bat in hand ready to take his or her turn at bat, never sure exactly what will happen, but willing to take a swing all the same.”

    Lord, help me to be such a baseball player. Amen and amen.

    Amy Young: Life enthusiast. Author. Sports lover. Jesus follower. Equipper of cross-cultural worker. Amy is the founder of Global Trellis, co-founder of Velvet Ashes, hosts reading challenges at The Messy Middle, and is the author of 5 books for Great Commission cross-cultural workers.

    Order 7 Ways to Pray here, including in the US, UK, and Australia. You’ll also find lots of resources for small groups – videos and a leader’s guide – here.

  • Forgiveness Fridays: When forgiveness might be easy to overlook by Amy Young

    What a thought-provoking post from Amy Young. When is a wrong not a wrong? What cultural trappings inform us as we answer that question? Just when do we need to forgive?

    China could be called the “Knock-Off Capital” of the world. Knock-offs aren’t just for handbags, though in the classroom they go by another name: plagiarism. What I might call cheating is often classified as helping or good writing. I used to see this issue in black and white, saying that either helping or good writing (aka copying) were clearly cheating. But the longer I was in China, the more I understood the line wasn’t as clear as I thought.

    Amy in China, next to vats of vinegar!

    In a society where relationships are incredibly important, if your friend asks for help and you refuse them, you have no idea what future door you have closed. Maybe that friend’s father’s sister’s husband could have helped you move your mom to Beijing. Maybe not. But without helping, that person is not indebted to you.

    In terms of copying being good writing, this used to be where I, as an American, would roll my eyes and say, “Whatever! A good writer is one who can use their own words.” But in China, a good writer is one who has read extensively and is able to incorporate others’ words into their own writing. Chinese writing is laden with proverbs and set phrases. Everyone knows that a good writer uses others’ words; it is not considered cheating, but a sign of being educated.

    Because I’ve grown in my understanding of both reasons, I am able to be a better teacher and explain that when writing in Chinese, using other people’s words is exactly what the students should do. But when writing in English, they need to operate under different cultural norms. My students are consistently surprised when I can tell they haven’t written something themselves and want to know how I know. Several years ago I had two students hand in the exact same paper on the topic of forgiveness. I couldn’t tell who had copied whom so I gave them both a zero.

    To make the point that copying wasn’t going to get by me and that I do read and remember what students write, I had a student stand at the front of the class and begin to read from one of the homework papers. As she was reading, I joined in reading the other paper. Of course, the class noticed they were . . . exactly the same. Point made. Since it was the first time plagiarism had occurred, I told the class the two students could rewrite their papers, but they had now all been warned and any future copying would receive a zero. The last laugh was on me because neither student copied off of the other; instead they both chose the same paper from the Internet to copy! Ha.

    Zeng Fei, who did an undergraduate degree in Russian, wrote the following letter to me in response.

    When I rewrite the article entitled “Forgiveness,” I can’t calm my heart. Because I clear-headed realized that my dishonest behavior has hurt not only my content but also your trust in every student. I’m very sorry for what I have done. Though I know my request for begging your forgiveness is maybe excessive, I want to ask, ”Can you forgive me?” Your answer for me is very important because it means that whether or not I can recover my self-confidence in my English studying.

    In the Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary of English, the meaning of the word ”forgive” is “no longer has the wish to punish somebody for an offense, a sin; pardon or show mercy to somebody; no longer have hard feelings towards somebody.” Though it looks illogical, I want to explain the benefit of ”forgiveness” by this unpleasant accident as follows. Firstly, your forgiveness can help one student recover his confidence in life and future. It will raise your significance of teaching profession. As the Chinese parlance puts it “A teacher is an engineer of the human soul.” I hope that you can become a leader in my way of studying English. Secondly, unpleasant feeling and disappointment resulted from this accident maybe would harm your beautiful looks. So if you can’t forgive me I would feel uneasy.

    In this article, as a homework and letter of apology, I hope that you can forgive me. Dear teacher, give me a chance to correct my mistakes, okay? I swear I’ll never make same mistakes. Please believe me again! Yours Zeng Fei.

    Some people make it easy to forgive them, don’t they? I forgave him. By making it easy, I can miss that forgiveness is just as powerful whether is it so-called easy or hard. The guest posts in this series have tackled some deep wounds and shown the balm of forgiveness. For their words and the Lord’s forgiveness I am grateful. It’s been years since I taught Zeng Fei, I don’t know what became of him after he left my classroom. But I do know this, forgiveness changes people. How do I know this? I am one who is forgiven on the big, but equally important, the small.

    Where has a “small” act of forgiveness made a big difference in your life?

    Amy Young is an avid Denver Broncos fan and knows what it’s like to learn lessons of forgiveness on foreign soil. You can read more of her work at The Messy Middle and receive a 14 tips to live well in a messy world. She is the author of Looming Transitions and Love, Amy: An Accidental Memoir Told in Newsletters from China.

  • Where I am finding myself these days by Amy Young

    No Place Like HomeAs you can see in these photos, Amy Young brings rays of sunshine where she goes – I love her smile and joie de vivre. I met her online and count her as a lovely friend who brings encouragement and fun. She and I share a love of NFL football, and she’s the kind of fan who makes you even like (or at least respect) her team with her gracious advocacy. I love her book Looming Transitions, which fills a deep need for those facing times of change. Join her in asking, where are you finding yourself?

    Granted, the first leg of my trip back to China had experienced a three-hour delay and I thought I might miss my international plane. But the strong sensation I had as I sank into my seat couldn’t completely be attributed from the adrenaline pulsing through my veins after I’d run through the airport.

    I was a hot mess internally. FOMO (Fear of missing out) while I was in China combined with knowing China was no longer my home left me with this clear thought: Metaphorically, I am always on a plane, by myself, stuck between worlds.

    When I say it was a strong feeling, I mean, a huge bouncer in a bar could not have given me a stronger sucker punch.

    I was almost two and a half years in my reentry. Will it ever end?!

    One of my great joys was that most of my family got to visit me in China. My sister and nieces and I are in one of the old lanes of Beijing.
    One of my great joys was that most of my family got to visit me in China. My sister and nieces and I are in one of the old lanes of Beijing.

    This is why I love Amy’s title Finding Myself in Britain so much. Isn’t the truth that we are all finding ourselves in our lives? In light of writing to you, I thought about my life now and wondered where am I finding myself right now?

    I am finding myself in America. Even though I have been back for more than two-and-a-half years, this finding process is just that: a process. Parts I absolutely love! I am a huge Denver Broncos fan and the two other times they successfully won the Super Bowl I was in Thailand surrounded by people not from Denver and watching Thai fruit drink commercials. I have LOVED being among my orange people. Other parts of this finding are awkward. I’m navigating waters in my late 40s that others navigate in the 20s. I know how to be an adult in China, I’m learning in the US.

    One of the mixed joys of the last two years, in the wake of my dad’s death, is that I have gotten to take each of his grandchildren, one by one, to a game and show them where Grandpa sat and introduce them to this piece of our family history. Chloe is wearing her mom’s shirt form childhood and I am wearing my shirt from when we went to the first superbowl :)
    One of the mixed joys of the last two years, in the wake of my dad’s death, is that I have gotten to take each of his grandchildren, one by one, to a game and show them where Grandpa sat and introduce them to this piece of our family history. Chloe is wearing her mom’s shirt form childhood and I am wearing my shirt from when we went to the first superbowl 🙂

    Taken right before the Superbowl this year . . . with my orange people!
    Taken right before the Superbowl this year . . . with my orange people!

    I’m finding myself in a job that doesn’t have a tidy title. I’ve always had jobs that came with a title: teacher, English teacher, University Teaching Program Director, Member Care Director. Even if someone didn’t really know what I did, the fact that it had a short, concise, understandable title sufficed. I currently work for an online community of Christian women who live and serve overseas. I love my job, but at least twice a month a friend sends me information about a job . . . since I don’t have one . . . that makes sense to others. So, I’m finding my identity in other areas than an easily understandable job.

    looming-transitions_coverI’m finding myself in the editing process. Over the last year I have worked with my amazing editor Deb as we got my book ready for publication. I had no idea that an editor could be an advocate and was scared of the process. Opening up what you have been working on for years and have someone else point out the flaws or the confusing parts? Risky! But Deb showed me that she got the vision of this book and that through editing and rewriting, it could be what it has become. The editing process helped me see the Holy Spirit as my life editor. If he can do in my life what Deb have done in my writing, I have hope for us all!

    I’m finding myself in my book being published. The parallels with parenting abound, so I’m going to be careful and not start gushing. I’m at the stage where the book has been released into the world, so others can have their own opinions of it. Of course, I delight when someone contacts me and says how very helpful it has been, how it met them right where they had a great need, how very much they appreciate the time I took to write it. I have to find myself apart from my book. Because there are also those who have said, “Um why did you put THAT in there?” I am proud of my book, I am happy to share with you about the content and the process, but I am not my book.

    I am finding myself in a complex relationship with the church. Because it is complex, it is too much to go into detail here. But I can say this much, it is disorienting to have a part of life that had been relatively easy and a good fit, feel like the wrong size shirt. I can’t tell what needs to change. Do I need to lose or gain weight? Does the size of the shirt need to change? I don’t know and I’m not particularly enjoying finding myself in this part of my life.

    I’m also finding myself in… gardening. Finding myself in grief. Finding myself in driving. Finding myself in training my eye to look for beauty, and finding myself in the Church year. How about you? Where are you finding yourself these days? What parts are you enjoy? What parts are a bit uncomfortable?

    Amy YoungAmy Young is an avid Denver Broncos fan and knows what it’s like to try and find yourself a friend to watch sports with you when you live abroad; so she took a picture for Amy BP when the Minnesota Vikings came to town. A sister’s gotta help a sister out! You can read more of her work at The Messy Middle and by signing up for her newsletter receive a free PDF chalk full of Tools for Navigating the Messy Middle of Life. She recently published Looming Transitions for those 4-6 months before a big transition to or from living abroad.