In the past couple of months, when people would ask me how I am, I’d often reply, “Tired.”
I have been weary to the bone; tired in body and spirit. Writing two books in quick succession, powering through my MA in Christian spirituality all in a too-compressed time period, and some personal issues have left me spent. Mind you, most of this is of my own doing. I could have spaced things out a bit more.
So lately I’ve been trying to recover, resting with a purpose, as I’ve seen my friends with chronic illnesses practice. I’m not so sure I’m very successful at that type of resting, however, for once I slowed down, I seemed to collapse into a state of acedia – that malaise and lack of interest in much of life that the church fathers named as a deadly sin (often called sloth). Binge-watching medical dramas seemed about the level of what I was capable of, and my to-read pile of books started to pile up even higher. I neglected my weekly blog posts and have a long list of people to whom I owe an email.
But this week, after the #BeastfromtheEast had thawed, part of my soul started to wake up too from its winter hibernation. I attended a seminar by one of my favorite lecturers at Heythrop College, Eddie Howells, on St John of the Cross on human and divine desire. The experience of thinking deeply again about things of the spirit and soul, along with spending time in the college library doing some research, felt like the start of a gentle awakening.
May it continue.
This post is part of the weekly Five Minute Friday link-up. You can find today’s prompt here. Did you join the linkup? Please share your blog in the comments, and tell me if you feel tired.