I can hardly believe that I’ve been running the Woman Alive book club for 15 years! The lovely Claire Musters interviewed me about all things books, including the two I have coming out this autumn. The feature is normally reserved for subscribers, but with permission I share here. Read on!
Yesterday my daughter and I enjoyed an everything-goes-right travel day. I’m taking some time to write about this because I see it as an answer to prayer. Now when we have one of those atrocious everything-goes-wrong travel days, that doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love us. Rather I’m taking yesterday as a gift of love – an extra grace.
I worked to keep calm and in the right frame of mind throughout the day, with just two blips. One was a moment of reckoning on the way to Heathrow, when we were two-thirds of the way there, our flight delayed by an hour meaning that we’d not make our connection in Atlanta, meaning an extra six hours would be added to our journey. Meaning I’d be driving to our friends in Virginia at 11:30pm (which would have been 4.30am British time).
The longest and hardest wait was at the beginning, at the airport, not knowing if we’d find a solution or if the long, long day lay ahead. Is that true in life? We don’t know what next steps to take or what the final outcome will be. The miasma of uncertainty can throw us at this point, when having faith while waiting can feel excruciating.
I went to the wrong queue, waiting at the Virgin Atlantic service counter instead of going to Delta. That cost us some time. More time at Delta as the queues moved at a seeming glacial pace. So much to check these days with covid certificates, travel attestation forms, and so on. At the Delta line when my turn came, we had a switch-over of employees. The woman who arrived seemed flustered from the start as she searched and searched through her purse/handbag, looking for a pencil as it turned out. Then she found she couldn’t log on. She’d been furloughed for over a month and the systems had changed. After more than twenty minutes I started to waver in my patience when I saw people at the next line over moving through the system, and finally asked if I could change queues.
That was a good move. The person there was clearly very competent, and when I asked if anything could be done in terms of finding a better flight – without nearly 5 hours in Atlanta – she said she’d work on it. She got a supervisor to come over, Mohammed, and as she moved her screen and keyboard for him to reach over the counter to see what he could do, I joked, “Ah, do you have the magic hands!” (Meaning the secret codes released to those at a certain level.) He smiled and kept on typing.
After a few stops and starts, he smiled and said, “Yes, this will work.” He routed us through New York’s JFK airport getting us to our destination two hours before our original time!
Flight to JFK went well. I started to wonder if we would make the connection when getting through immigration took a long time. Then security took a long time, and I left my iPad in a bag, which meant that it had to be rescanned. And our gate was B51 – almost the most far away in that terminal from security. We were cutting it very tight and because my daughter got scraped up in a mountain biking accident at camp (she’s fine but it’s sore), she couldn’t walk hugely fast. So when we got to the gate, although we were 10 minutes before the flight and it still said, “Boarding,” the gate agent was gone and it appeared we were too late. Sigh.
After resigning ourselves to time in the airport – at least I could get some food for my daughter who hadn’t eaten either of the meal offerings on the plane – the gate agent came out and said that we could board because there was a malfunction on the plane. Now no one likes to hear of a malfunction but it was simply the deliberator’s batteries weren’t working. So we boarded, waited just a half hour, and landed – still ahead of time.
I write this sitting in one of the Adirondack chairs in the photo above, looking at the lovely view, hearing the birds, cicadas, satisfied from a breakfast of croissant and eggs from chickens raised here at Corhaven. Giving thanks for these answered prayers for this day of travel, received with gratitude. Reminding myself to think back to the day-where-everything-went-right the next time I’m traveling.
How to you exercise faith when the outcome isn’t clear?
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This post appeared first in one of my monthly newsletters in March 2019. I reprint it here for your convenience with a few updates, set out in this quotation format.
Last month, after I returned from some days on retreat in a gorgeous setting in West Yorkshire, a friend asked on social media:
Have you written about a solo retreat experience? My heart yearns for one but I’ve not found anything [where I live]… Something calls me to go away and BE. QUIET.
As I replied to her, yes, I wrote an article some years ago for Woman Alive called “The Sound of Silence” in which I tell about arriving at a wonderful convent in Maryland and finding myself reading a murder mystery – because I was running from God while reverberating with the pain of a broken relationship. (This was my very first article ever published in Woman Alive, the wonderful monthly women’s magazine for which I’ve run the book club for some thirteen years!) In the article I explore the importance of seeking silence in a world with so many sounds and voices competing for our attention, drawing on the fine books by Dallas Willard and Richard Foster on the spiritual disciplines.
Here I would like to explore one main idea of what you can do on retreat along with a few others that you could embrace, along with some suggestions of where to go (Europe based). I should also say that if you’re energized by being with people, you might think a retreat for a day or four days is a prison sentence, not a life-giving practice. We all need to find what works for us – a retreat/holiday such as those I lead at El Palmeral (details below) could be just the right thing if you are looking for some time with people and the opportunity for times on your own.
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Looking back to see God and ourselves – a main focus on my recent retreat was to look back. As I wrote in Finding Myself in Britain (FMIB) in the chapter looking at New Year’s traditions, each year I like to look back over my prayer journals as a way of reviewing the year with God. I note highlights and lowlights, and see not only how I sensed God’s presence, wisdom, and direction but what was going on in my soul, emotions, family, friendships, and work. The journals bring back memories I may have forgotten, but more importantly, they reveal my relationship with God and what’s going on in my soul.
As I said in FMIB:
Out of my prayer times are ideas birthed, dreams documented, damning words of irritation or frustration or self-centredness confessed, forgiveness received, and hope imparted. I easily forget what I learned in the past, and so my yearly practice is a good way to refresh my memory.
When I sat down in front of the amazing view of the Yorkshire hills while on retreat last month, I knew that I was behind in this what-I-like-to-call yearly practice. But I didn’t realize just how long ago I’d last summarized the year gone by. I realized, with sadness, that I needed to start reading from 2015. That’s when I was finishing off the draft of FMIB and journeying to its release later in the year, with all of the struggle to find my voice as a writer along with the joy and wonder at the end of the year of being a Published Author. Then onto 2016 with the juggling of delving into my MA in Christian spirituality with writing The Living Cross, my Lenten exploration of forgiveness, with some family hardships we experienced at the end of that year with Nicholas’s mother dying unexpectedly and suddenly. I remembered so clearly when reading through the entries in 2017 my angst with the MA, and needing to find confidence in my ability to think and reason in the academic setting (which I finally found right at the very end while writing my dissertation). And last year was to be for replenishment, but I saw how my many writing and speaking engagements didn’t leave much time for true rest.
That’s a list of my big activities over the past four years, but what’s more important is the relationship with God and those close to me that I see reflected in the pages. Might you embark on some kind of looking-back exercise of this sort? (In a later newsletter I’ll write about the Ignatian practice of examen, which is a daily looking back.)
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Experiencing God in creation – I love getting out into the countryside when on retreat. Walking takes me out of living too much in my head, which can be a danger for introverts. As I gaze at the wonder of trees, birds, flowers, and other parts of creation, I am led to a prayer of thanksgiving. Climbing a hill gets my heart pumping and makes me thankful for working limbs. Coming upon a stream of clear water refreshes me and makes me slow down. You can take a mini-retreat anytime you can find somewhere to walk – we have a brook in North London not far from us that feels like a slice away from city life.
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Time in God’s word – a retreat can provide a wonderful time to immerse ourselves in the Bible. Perhaps you could focus in on a short passage to ponder and chew over, or to engage with imaginatively.
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Rest – a main feature I think of any retreat is to rest and be. So many of us are tired and worn out, needing some time to find refreshment through sleep and not having to do anything. We can also be renewed through creative activities, such as coloring, painting, sewing, or photography. The important point about any of these activities is to use them as a means of drawing closer to God, and not getting so submerged into the actual activity that we lose our focus.
Onto the recommendations of where to go on retreat…
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El Palmeral, near Alicante in Spain
A fantastic place for a retreat/holiday with British hosts Julie and Mike Jowett. They give a warm welcome in their wonderful surroundings, which include elegant rooms, a stunning pool, gardens to explore including a labyrinth, a well-stocked library filled with Christian and general-market books, and a living room that has a high-quality projector for movies. I have to mention the food too, for the cooking is Spanish and sumptuous. The outdoor chapel hosts daily Celtic prayer in the morning and at night for compline.
I can’t recommend this glorious place enough! You can go there for a led retreat or a time-out retreat.
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Westwood Christian Centre, near Huddersfield
This converted church is where I went in February for my personal retreat. I had simply amazing views out of the windows in my studio flat, which fed my soul (especially as much of the day the sunlight streams through the window). It’s self-catering and I love that I didn’t have to engage in any program. The only downer was that I didn’t find any great countryside walks from there, instead having to drive on those scary country roads to get to a National Trust walk (and yes, I should invest in an Ordinance Survey map, shouldn’t I).
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Lee Abbey, Devon
My daughter and I just returned from a wonderful mums-and-daughters weekend at the Beacon Centre at Lee Abbey. I’d led a retreat last March at the main house, and so hadn’t been to the Beacon before. We loved the weekend! The theme was Beloved: Embracing our identity in Christ, and there were about 30 of us mothers and daughters, along with a fantastic team from around the world. We had our talks on the subject and then did a host of activities, from the zip wire to orienteering to the climbing wall and archery. I found it so special to be able to spend the time with my daughter, and to meet other likeminded women and their girls.
Lee Abbey is a special place in North Devon. They have loads of programs and weekends that you can explore, including if you want to save some money to stay at the Beacon but go to the events at the main house. We were comfy in our room at the Beacon and the food was tasty.
This is a fantastic place to go if you’d like to get outside with spectacular views over the Bristol Channel. One of the girls swam in the bay before she and her mother left last Sunday – braver than I’d be!
I’m leading a retreat on 7 Ways to Pray in April 2022 there. Their program isn’t yet published but check out their website closer to the time to register.
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Mulberry House, Essex
A wonderful place. The Nationwide Christian Trust runs it not only for Christian events but hires it out for general use too – I’m sure many a wedding has been photographed with the bride and groom standing on the picturesque bridge over the pond (as above). The food there is fabulous! And there are lots of little places to escape on the property if the weather is fine – and a couple of hermitages (summer houses) if not.
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Shekinah Christian Trust, Lancashire
I’ve only spent one night in this retreat house (with the gorgeous view above), but enjoyed the best night of sleep in months there! It’s in beautiful surroundings in the rural countryside, which I wished I would have had time to explore. I went there after an exhausting Christian publishing conference, and before I was speaking at a church in Altrincham, and felt so refreshed just from my few hours in this welcoming place. Sleep is healing!
Penhurst Retreat Centre in East Sussex (Added in 2021)
How I enjoyed leading the first group of six people (the number allowed by the government) in the first retreat upon reopening because of the coronavirus pandemic. We all felt a bit odd after such a long time on our own – I was stumbling over words a plenty during that first session. But slowly we emerged and found our way again, and what a delight to do it here at Penhurst.
Not only is the home amazing – gorgeous, welcoming, well fitted – but the team has such a hospitable and welcoming approach. And the food is gorgeous too.
Have a look at their offerings. They were created as a haven for mission partners, and still have a good means of ministering to them, but they host many other weeks too, such as individually guided retreats and led retreats. I’ll be leading my 7 Ways to Pray retreat there in June 2022 (info will be on their website and how to book by September 2021).
| I hope this list of retreat places is helpful – sorry not to have any recommendations on the other side of the Atlantic. Send me a list of your favorite places and I’d be happy to send out an updated list. |
Would you like to explore seven ways to pray, under the guidance of a seasoned retreat leader? Join me in engaging with time-tested prayer practices as outlined in my new book, 7 Ways to Pray. You’ll not only learn more about these ways to pray in a nonthreatening setting, but you’ll have plenty of time to try them out—and thus to encounter our loving God.
What:
When:
Two streams, Tuesdays or Saturdays:
Tuesdays from 8-9pm in the UK (3-4pm, EDT; 12-1pm PDT)
7, 14, 21, 28 September; 5, 12, 19 October
Saturdays from 10-11am, Eastern daylight time (7–8am PDT; 3–4pm UK)
September 11, 18, 25; October 2, 9, 16, 23
(I’m sorry that these times aren’t very friendly to those in Singapore, Australia, and New Zealand. I know some lovely ones there who might want to join in. I’d love to run a retreat for you if we could get enough people together; let me know if you’re a people-gatherer and can help make this happen.)
How much:
The suggested cost is £60/$80, but you’re free to subsidize others or to receive the generosity of others. I’m trying to keep it simple as possible while having some options to give or receive:
Description:
Week 1
Praying with the Bible (personalizing Scripture, poetry, and others)
Week 2
Praying through the Bible (lectio divina – a four-step way to digest God’s word)
Week 3
Practicing the Presence (exploring the indwelling of God and unceasing prayer)
Week 4
Hearing God (including learning to discern God’s voice)
Week 5
Lament (crying out to God when life doesn’t go as we hoped)
Week 6
Imaginative prayer (placing ourselves in the stories of Jesus with our imaginations)
Week 7
Examen (looking back to discern how we’re moving toward or away from God)
Next steps:
Please sign up! I’ll be in touch in early September to send you the link to the private Facebook group, and you’ll also receive your zoom details and downloadable resources.
Ideas for small groups:
Want to join as a small group? Let me know and we can arrange for you to be in break-out rooms together. Also, you could follow the example of a group that will gather via their own zoom link for a half-hour prior to our meeting to catch up and share how the prayer journey is going.
About your sponsor:
Coracle, who is generously sponsoring this retreat, is the wonderful organization out of Virginia with whom I’ve just become a spiritual director. They exist to inspire and enable people to be the presence of God in the world by offering spiritual formation and Kingdom action. They help people become who they are in Christ so that through Christ they can bring God’s kingdom to a broken world through their lives, relationships, vocations, service, and risks.
About your host:
Amy Boucher Pye is a writer, speaker, retreat leader, and spiritual director. She’s the author of 7 Ways to Pray and other books, including the award-winning Finding Myself in Britain. She loves writing devotional thoughts, including for the globally recognized Our Daily Bread, and runs the Woman Alive book club. She received her MA in Christian spirituality from Heythrop College, University of London. She regularly leads retreats at El Palmeral in Spain, Lee Abbey, Devon, and Penhurst Retreat Centre in East Sussex.
The Psalms are the prayer book in the Bible, and we can use these ancient words in our own conversation with God. Such as what I did when I was reading Psalm 26. I found myself talking to God, wanting to query some of the statements David made. Here’s how it went…
Vindicate me
A big word; a very big word
It asks for release
I have led a blameless life
But no I haven’t
How can he pray this?
I have trusted in the Lord
Yes, I have
I have not faltered
Well, no, I’ve not
Test me, Lord, and try me
Really? I’m not so sure
Remember that adage
Be careful what you pray for…
Test me? I’m not so sure
Examine my heart and my mind
Yes, I want this
Or at least I want to want this
For I have always been mindful of your love
Your unfailing love
I fear not always – always is a big word
But I know your love is unfailing
I’ve relied on your faithfulness
When I’ve needed to
Definitely when I’ve needed to
I do not sit with the deceitful
Nor associate with hypocrites
Um, sorry, how can he say this?
When I know I myself am a huge hypocrite?
I wash my hands in innocence
Nope, can’t say that either…
I proclaim aloud your praise
And tell of your wonderful deeds
Now this I can do
Yes! I love to tell of your work in my life
Lord, I love the house where you live
The place your glory dwells
Oh how lovely is your house!
Take not my soul with the sinners
My life with those who thirst for blood
In whose hands are wicked schemes
Yes, I can affirm this
I lead a blameless life
Still not sure how he can say this
Deliver me and be merciful to me
Oh yes, Lord – deliver me
Be merciful to me
My feet stand on level ground
Rooted to the earth, Lord
Let me be rooted to the earth
In the great congregation I will praise you.
Three questions in closing:
How did you feel when you read that?
Why do you think David said his life was blameless?
Might you turn one of the Psalms into your own prayer?
It feels fitting to be offering this prayer exercise while sitting outside in the sunshine while upstairs in my study my daughter enjoys an art lesson with my dad via video chat. Feel the sun warm your toes and the breeze gently float around you, and picture yourself somewhere where it’s not too hot and not too cool. Where the clouds pass over the sun, dampening the temperature a bit. Where you hear the cry of the blackbird in the distance.
Use my dad’s painting of a combine harvesting in late summer as a jumping point for prayer. Follow the Spirit where he leads. You might want to ponder seeds and growth in the kingdom of God from this parable of Jesus:
26 He also said, “This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. 27 Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how. 28 All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head. 29 As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come” (Mark 4:26–29, NIV).
Bonus to come—Sharon Garlough Brown leads us in lectio divina on this Scripture passage in a video interview I will post in September!
Praying with the Bible roots us deeply in God’s word. This is the first topic—the first way to pray—I engage with in my forthcoming book, 7 Ways to Pray. Here’s an exercise of praying with the Bible through a text from Paul’s letter to the Colossians. It’s rich with meaning and one that Dallas Willard recommended that we memorize. I’ve started memorizing it and got about halfway through before I’ve stalled. Maybe that’s something I could pick up again!
Why not take some time to pray through this text, personalizing it and examining it this way and that. You might want to do this over several days. The text appears below in the NIV, and underneath it, I’ve added some of my own prayers based on it.
1 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.11 Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Lord, I come to you with thankfulness for how you’ve created me. I praise you for your faithfulness and love. Come now through your Holy Spirit and help me to pray. Thank you for your word, which gives me life and truth. Make it come alive to me, that I might know you better and share your love more faithfully.
Lord God, I ask that you’d help me to set my heart on you. Not, Lord, on earthly things. It’s so easy to look at the things of this earth and get bogged down in them. Or even to glory in them, for you have made them with such care and beauty. But you are there, Christ, seated at the right hand of God. You call me to think on heavenly things. To know that this earth is not all that there is. I’m so grateful that through your Spirit I’ve died to my old self, and my life is now hidden with Christ in God. And I know that when Christ comes, who is my life, then I’ll appear with him in glory. Alleluia!
Help me put to death whatever belongs to my earthly nature – sexual immorality, lust, greed. These actions are idolatry, and because of them, I know the wrath of God will come. I say with Paul that I used to walk in these ways in the life I once lived. But now I know that I must rid myself of all such things as anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from my lips. Lord, these are things that come easily to me, and I repent and say sorry for the ways I let my mouth take over. For the ways I rage and lose my temper. Forgive me please. I know too that I shouldn’t lie to anyone else, for I’ve taken off my old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which you renew in knowledge in the image of you, God, my creator. There’s no division between people for Christ is all, and is in all. No division! No divide based on class or race. No inner group or newbies. Christ is all and is in all. Christ is all!
I know therefore that as God’s chosen person, one who is holy and dearly loved, I put on the clothes of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. I put these on, Lord. I put on the cloak of compassion, which you will help to ooze out of me when I see someone in need or hurting. The hat of kindness, that I might notice others instead of being wrapped up in myself. The sweater of humility, that I might be willing to give of myself to others, seeing them as your daughters and sons. The trousers of patience – please, I pray, slow down my eager legs. The gloves of gentleness, to spread your loving touch.
Help me to forgive as you’ve forgiven me. And over all of these virtues, I clothe myself in your love. I shower in love. I wrap myself in love. You are love and you fill me with love. Bind me together with my fellow sisters and brothers in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in my heart, for you’ve called me to peace. I am thankful, Lord, for the amazing ways you’ve worked in my heart and mind.
Let your message, Christ, dwell among us richly today. Help me to teach and admonish others in your name, with wisdom, through gratitude and song. Help me to do whatever I do in your word and deed, all in the name of Jesus Christ, giving thanks to you.
Today we move away from Watercolor Wednesday to welcome a new series, Praying with a Painting. I’m still going to be featuring my dad’s wonderful artwork, but want to use it as a jumping point for prayer.
One form of praying with the help of an image is visio divina, which is Latin for sacred seeing, and many weeks we’ll use this slow, thoughtful form of engaging prayerfully. Other weeks we’ll find different ways to interact with the paintings. I hope that these posts will provide you a mini-retreat during your busy day.
Today we’re thinking about Jesus the Vine, which is what he calls himself in John 15, in what’s known as the Last Discourse. He and his friends have eaten their last supper together, and as they walk from the upper room to the Garden of Gethsemane, he shares with them of life in the kingdom. Yes, he’ll be going away, but he will be sending the Advocate, the Spirit to be with them. As part of this discussion he also calls himself the Vine and his friends the branches, and that as they abide in him they will bear fruit.
Join me in praying with this painting?
Watercolor Wednesday is back!
Today I’m thinking about farms, especially those in Minnesota and Iowa, as my parents were both raised on them in these states. I appreciate their work ethic which developed over many years of doing daily chores – the cows simply had to be milked and fed every day.
How does a daily discipline inform your life? Do you have daily habits that you embrace – not only brushing your teeth and bathing (I hope), but daily rhythms of delight, such as going for a walk or listening to music?
I so enjoyed working with my dad on our forthcoming art/reflections book, Celebrating Christmas, which will be released this September, that I asked him if he’d consider painting some scenes for Lent. Here’s one that he created for tomorrow, Maundy Thursday, when Jesus takes the role of a servant and washes his friends’ feet.
A wonderful prayer practice is to study the painting as a prayer, asking God through his Spirit to lead you. Or you could place yourself in the story – what do you see, hear, smell, and experience as Jesus washes the feet? Are you one of the disciples or an onlooker? What do you feel?
May you know God’s love as we enter into this wonderful, amazing, heartrending story as we approach Easter.