Why go on a retreat? And where to go in the UK and Spain

This post appeared first in one of my monthly newsletters in March 2019. I reprint it here for your convenience with a few updates, set out in this quotation format.

Last month, after I returned from some days on retreat in a gorgeous setting in West Yorkshire, a friend asked on social media:

Have you written about a solo retreat experience? My heart yearns for one but I’ve not found anything [where I live]… Something calls me to go away and BE. QUIET.

As I replied to her, yes, I wrote an article some years ago for Woman Alive called “The Sound of Silence” in which I tell about arriving at a wonderful convent in Maryland and finding myself reading a murder mystery – because I was running from God while reverberating with the pain of a broken relationship. (This was my very first article ever published in Woman Alive, the wonderful monthly women’s magazine for which I’ve run the book club for some thirteen years!) In the article I explore the importance of seeking silence in a world with so many sounds and voices competing for our attention, drawing on the fine books by Dallas Willard and Richard Foster on the spiritual disciplines.

Here I would like to explore one main idea of what you can do on retreat along with a few others that you could embrace, along with some suggestions of where to go (Europe based). I should also say that if you’re energized by being with people, you might think a retreat for a day or four days is a prison sentence, not a life-giving practice. We all need to find what works for us – a retreat/holiday such as those I lead at El Palmeral (details below) could be just the right thing if you are looking for some time with people and the opportunity for times on your own.

Looking back to see God and ourselves – a main focus on my recent retreat was to look back. As I wrote in Finding Myself in Britain (FMIB) in the chapter looking at New Year’s traditions, each year I like to look back over my prayer journals as a way of reviewing the year with God. I note highlights and lowlights, and see not only how I sensed God’s presence, wisdom, and direction but what was going on in my soul, emotions, family, friendships, and work. The journals bring back memories I may have forgotten, but more importantly, they reveal my relationship with God and what’s going on in my soul.

As I said in FMIB:

Out of my prayer times are ideas birthed, dreams documented, damning words of irritation or frustration or self-centredness confessed, forgiveness received, and hope imparted. I easily forget what I learned in the past, and so my yearly practice is a good way to refresh my memory.

When I sat down in front of the amazing view of the Yorkshire hills while on retreat last month, I knew that I was behind in this what-I-like-to-call yearly practice. But I didn’t realize just how long ago I’d last summarized the year gone by. I realized, with sadness, that I needed to start reading from 2015. That’s when I was finishing off the draft of FMIB and journeying to its release later in the year, with all of the struggle to find my voice as a writer along with the joy and wonder at the end of the year of being a Published Author. Then onto 2016 with the juggling of delving into my MA in Christian spirituality with writing The Living Cross, my Lenten exploration of forgiveness, with some family hardships we experienced at the end of that year with Nicholas’s mother dying unexpectedly and suddenly. I remembered so clearly when reading through the entries in 2017 my angst with the MA, and needing to find confidence in my ability to think and reason in the academic setting (which I finally found right at the very end while writing my dissertation). And last year was to be for replenishment, but I saw how my many writing and speaking engagements didn’t leave much time for true rest.

That’s a list of my big activities over the past four years, but what’s more important is the relationship with God and those close to me that I see reflected in the pages. Might you embark on some kind of looking-back exercise of this sort? (In a later newsletter I’ll write about the Ignatian practice of examen, which is a daily looking back.)

Experiencing God in creation – I love getting out into the countryside when on retreat. Walking takes me out of living too much in my head, which can be a danger for introverts. As I gaze at the wonder of trees, birds, flowers, and other parts of creation, I am led to a prayer of thanksgiving. Climbing a hill gets my heart pumping and makes me thankful for working limbs. Coming upon a stream of clear water refreshes me and makes me slow down. You can take a mini-retreat anytime you can find somewhere to walk – we have a brook in North London not far from us that feels like a slice away from city life.

Time in God’s word – a retreat can provide a wonderful time to immerse ourselves in the Bible. Perhaps you could focus in on a short passage to ponder and chew over, or to engage with imaginatively.

Rest – a main feature I think of any retreat is to rest and be. So many of us are tired and worn out, needing some time to find refreshment through sleep and not having to do anything. We can also be renewed through creative activities, such as coloring, painting, sewing, or photography. The important point about any of these activities is to use them as a means of drawing closer to God, and not getting so submerged into the actual activity that we lose our focus.

Onto the recommendations of where to go on retreat…

El Palmeral, near Alicante in Spain

A fantastic place for a retreat/holiday with British hosts Julie and Mike Jowett. They give a warm welcome in their wonderful surroundings, which include elegant rooms, a stunning pool, gardens to explore including a labyrinth, a well-stocked library filled with Christian and general-market books, and a living room that has a high-quality projector for movies. I have to mention the food too, for the cooking is Spanish and sumptuous. The outdoor chapel hosts daily Celtic prayer in the morning and at night for compline.

I can’t recommend this glorious place enough! You can go there for a led retreat or a time-out retreat.

Westwood Christian Centre, near Huddersfield

This converted church is where I went in February for my personal retreat. I had simply amazing views out of the windows in my studio flat, which fed my soul (especially as much of the day the sunlight streams through the window). It’s self-catering and I love that I didn’t have to engage in any program. The only downer was that I didn’t find any great countryside walks from there, instead having to drive on those scary country roads to get to a National Trust walk (and yes, I should invest in an Ordinance Survey map, shouldn’t I).

Lee Abbey, Devon

My daughter and I just returned from a wonderful mums-and-daughters weekend at the  Beacon Centre at Lee Abbey. I’d led a retreat last March at the main house, and so hadn’t been to the Beacon before. We loved the weekend! The theme was Beloved: Embracing our identity in Christ, and there were about 30 of us mothers and daughters, along with a fantastic team from around the world. We had our talks on the subject and then did a host of activities, from the zip wire to orienteering to the climbing wall and archery. I found it so special to be able to spend the time with my daughter, and to meet other likeminded women and their girls.

Lee Abbey is a special place in North Devon. They have loads of programs and weekends that you can explore, including if you want to save some money to stay at the Beacon but go to the events at the main house. We were comfy in our room at the Beacon and the food was tasty.

This is a fantastic place to go if you’d like to get outside with spectacular views over the Bristol Channel. One of the girls swam in the bay before she and her mother left last Sunday – braver than I’d be!

I’m leading a retreat on 7 Ways to Pray in April 2022 there. Their program isn’t yet published but check out their website closer to the time to register.

Mulberry House, Essex

A wonderful place. The Nationwide Christian Trust runs it not only for Christian events but hires it out for general use too – I’m sure many a wedding has been photographed with the bride and groom standing on the picturesque bridge over the pond (as above). The food there is fabulous! And there are lots of little places to escape on the property if the weather is fine – and a couple of hermitages (summer houses) if not.

Shekinah Christian Trust, Lancashire

I’ve only spent one night in this retreat house (with the gorgeous view above), but enjoyed the best night of sleep in months there! It’s in beautiful surroundings in the rural countryside, which I wished I would have had time to explore. I went there after an exhausting Christian publishing conference, and before I was speaking at a church in Altrincham, and felt so refreshed just from my few hours in this welcoming place. Sleep is healing!

Penhurst Retreat Centre in East Sussex (Added in 2021)

How I enjoyed leading the first group of six people (the number allowed by the government) in the first retreat upon reopening because of the coronavirus pandemic. We all felt a bit odd after such a long time on our own – I was stumbling over words a plenty during that first session. But slowly we emerged and found our way again, and what a delight to do it here at Penhurst.

Not only is the home amazing – gorgeous, welcoming, well fitted – but the team has such a hospitable and welcoming approach. And the food is gorgeous too.

Have a look at their offerings. They were created as a haven for mission partners, and still have a good means of ministering to them, but they host many other weeks too, such as individually guided retreats and led retreats. I’ll be leading my 7 Ways to Pray retreat there in June 2022 (info will be on their website and how to book by September 2021).

I hope this list of retreat places is helpful – sorry not to have any recommendations on the other side of the Atlantic. Send me a list of your favorite places and I’d be happy to send out an updated list.